Far as I know, I am done with this blog. I don't think that I have anything else to add, and so this is now a complete journey through ten months of my life. This post will be the closing of a chapter of immense growth in my life, and a new blog marks the start of a new one.
That new blog is located at: http://saknikaII.blogspot.com
It already has some entries, and will chronicle events that take place after Hallmark, and where photography takes me as a career. Occasionally you may hear mention of Hallmark as well, because I have so many friendships and connections to the school still. It was always my dream to make it to the Alumni Roundtable as well someday, but I don't know that I can do that since I didn't technically graduate. But if I do, by some odd means, that's where you'll read about it.
On that blog I'll also keep you up-to-date with images, picking out my favourites from the shoot. And I love feedback, so leave some comments. They're moderated, but open to the public.
If you'd like to keep up-to-date with just my photography, then please check out this blog instead: http://photo-phantasy.blogspot.com
And if you'd like to get in touch with me personally, all my contact info is easy to find, plus I'll leave it here.
Samantha Genier
samantha@photo-phantasy.com
AIM- KagomeOuwasari
YIM- saknikas.artisticdomain
MSN- saknika@hotmail.com
http://www.photo-phantasy.com
http://saknika.deviantart.com
Status...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Final Thoughts: Hallmark Institute of Photography
These are some final thoughts I have about the school itself. You've heard how I felt about the instructors, and just like then, this is all personal experience and views. It's always best to form your own opinions in the end, but this is what I felt.
Before I even begin though, I want to say this. Knowing what I do now, I still would have attended Hallmark. Even though I failed (technically), and had a lot of struggles. However! I don't know that I would have attended straight out of High School. I think I would have waited two years until my 20th birthday, gotten some real world experience and saved up a bit more, and then attended. Going right out of High School was nice, and it can work, I just don't think it was a good decision on my part with everything that was going on in my family and life.
That being said, let's get into it. We'll go from bad to good.
The Cons:
One of the biggest gripes I probably had, was that the instructor who assigned the photo shoot, didn't necessarily grade the photo shoot. So John Nordell, for example, would assign for you to go do the Photo Essay. And if you brought it to him, he might tell you that it's absolutely perfect. That what you did meets all requirements and expectations in his eyes. So you feel confident when you hand it in, because the instructor who assigned it gave you good remarks. But then when you get the graded assignment back, you see that it wasn't given full credit, and that it was because of technicalities in the portraits or something. And upon looking down you see that Rich Barnes, who is a portrait photographer and not a photojournalist, graded it. But that's how it is at Hallmark. One instructor hands it out, every instructor (pretty much) grades it. They just hand them out in sections. This was not liked, and I was echoed by my fellow classmates in this regard. We all felt that if the instructor assigned it, that instructor should grade it.
Another issue was getting in to see the instructors, and utilizing their knowledge. Because there are so few instructors compared to the number of students, this is no easy task. There were often lines waiting outside of doors in order to get in to see someone, and at the same time there were also students waiting in studios for help with their shoots. So any given instructor would be trying to help those in line, grade assignments, and help out in studio. Preferably all at once, because they were in high demand. I tended to stay away from instructors when they had the long lines, and go find someone else who wasn't busy, because I'm very bad at waiting in line when I have other things to do.
The Open House, as I'm sure you're aware already from a previous entry, was not a favourite event either. It wouldn't have been bad if we hadn't been used as janitors, and refused food until after it was over. We understood that we should tidy up tables and chairs, and hang the decorations ourselves, but what was not liked was that we were washing windows, dishes, cleaning the fridges out, dusting, sweeping, and generally being treated like custodians. That took it a bit far, and then when we were told that we must arrive by noon the day of, and we'd be there until probably 5pm cleaning up afterwards to get ready for school Monday, and that we couldn't eat any of the catered food that whole time, well, we were pissed. It would have been one thing if we weren't sure we'd have enough, but it was catered. What also failed miserably were some of the committees, like the one I was on, that basically did nothing because people chose to not utilize the service being offered.
If you attend Hallmark, also be ready to relearn anything you already know in Photoshop, Lightroom, InDesign, and Dreamweaver. They don't figure out where anyones' skills are regarding any of these programs, and so it's all mixed up. Many felt it would have been a better idea if they had separated our groups based on where our skill level was in Photoshop (since that was the main program taught), so that the more advanced users could be helped out with more advanced techniques, and not have to snooze through the simple stuff that had to be gone over several times for those who weren't as technologically adept. It was also a general feeling that this would have allowed for those that needed more help with Photoshop, to get it while in class. It can be understood that they wanted uniform teaching, but that really just doesn't seem fair to those who are also paying a lot of money to be at Hallmark and are just being retaught things they already know.
Final Portfolio Review was an issue to some too. It's a lot of stress, and can be very publicly humiliating because that camera zooms right in on you for all attending to see when you're up on stage and they announce if you pass or fail. There's also the problem that the judges are brought in not really knowing what they're to be looking for, and depending on the day will effect how they grade. One day they might be more lenient than another. Due to the fact that people traveled so far to see the student they supported graduate, there was a general feeling that those who went to re-review shouldn't have to wait until the last minute to know if they would pass. That, and it was felt there should have been more time for those in re-review to fix their work. One of those probably could have been done if Portfolio Reviews were started one week sooner.
I also didn't like that sometimes the whole truth didn't seem to be given to you. And I say this speaking from when I took my leave of absence. It was to my understanding that everything would be taken care of, because that's what Tammy said. And we went over the speech thing, and I knew I'd probably have to make it up because you do have to do all three. However, I was under the impression that because I was taking this leave, and because I had the doctor's note and all, that if the speech couldn't be gotten to, then it wouldn't be an issue. Especially since the only thing that was going to effect us graduating was that portfolio anyways. I was dead wrong. And if there was anything that put a lot of undue stress on me (heard that they never had to deliver the speech anyways), it was that. As if the final portfolio wasn't enough to worry about, and then re-review on top of that. So head my warning, double check on everything that's said to you, just in case.
The guest lecturer series also goes on for too long. During the time that we were having them, a lot would have rather been in the studios working on completing their final portfolio. A few would have been nice, and were, but after a while it started to sound like they were all saying the same thing. Personally, I felt that we needed a morale booster closer to the end, and we should have had another alumni roundtable because hearing from graduates who made it into the field is closer to us.
The Pros:
The thing that sticks out best in my mind, were all the kinds of photography and opportunities afforded to you throughout the program. It might only have been ten months, but during that time you met a lot of incredible people, were given a shot at aerial photography, could take side-jobs for pay in the field, got to assist, went to NYC (I skipped, personally), had a staff that actually worked in what they taught, had both professional portrait and commercial studios to work with, equipment on loan, ability to learn a view camera and a medium format camera, and probably a lot more that I'm forgetting. But the doors this opens for you are incredible! You're able to try so many new things that it becomes difficult to decide what you want to specialize in because there are now so many choices.
Hallmark is also willing to work with you after you've graduated. Even if it's 30 years down the road and you need a new job, they're still going to be there for you. Because they actually care about their alumni. Not a lot of colleges can boast that.
Tammy is also, supposedly, available 24/7 to you. There were times I couldn't get a hold of her, but she's human too so she gets benefit of the doubt. However, the effort and thought is there, and it's not something you're going to be offered at your basic college. You can see their guidance counselor person during school hours, and that's pretty much it.
Because it's such a focused school (photography and business surrounding it), you don't have to take any general education courses. This makes it easier to focus on becoming a photographer, and doing what you love to do as a career.
Hallmark also debunks the myths of the starving artist, and explains how and why it happens. They give you hope and spark the light at the end of the tunnel that yes, you can make money as an artist. Because it's true.
The education they provide is also top-notch, and they know how to condense it. Where you might spend a semester, for example, learning Art History in a regular 2-year college, Hallmark condensed it down to four hours, done in two two-hour sessions. And we all learned what we needed to know. They're very serious about what they want to teach, and the profession, giving it that efficiency.
The instructors are also all great people. Some you may not get along with as well as others, but that's life. You're not always going to like everyone. And not everyone will like you. But you'll find a lot of support and help from the staff no matter what, and that means a lot when you're in such a situation.
Hallmark also allows for you to make important connections to professionals already out in the working world. These connections can/will help you to become a known and working photographer yourself. That's important, because you'll have $50,000-$60,000 in loans to payback to the college when you're done.
Breaking it down, Hallmark is also a fairly cheap school. Think about it. 8-5, Mon-Fri like a regular job makes that ten months actually two years worth of schooling. Meaning you're paying $25,000-$30,000 a year basically to attend the Harvard of photography. Thinking about it that way really makes it seem less costly, even though you sell your soul to the bank the day you sign that paper.
Overall:
So yes, even though Hallmark has some pretty big cons, it has a lot of pros to help make up for it. If you're not someone that does well under stress though, or who isn't serious about making Photography your career, this isn't the school for you. Hallmark is tough, and they crack the whip of technical expertise at the end of the year like you wouldn't believe. You will have three speeches you are required to do, and an Open House to put on. There will be a lot of guest lecturers that make you want to open a vein with how dull and lifeless they are, and others who will have you on the edge of your seat. There will be instructors you love, and others you can't stand. The curriculum is grueling, and it'll be like a parasite that eats at your brain because suddenly life is Hallmark. If you're even the slightest bit wary in your decision to attend, I advice you to think long and hard about it, because this is like the army. They're not going to take any shit, and they'll put you through basic training more times than you think you can hold out through. You'll want to severely harm someone, something, or yourself eventually. And if you have no confidence in yourself or your work, go get some. You're going to need it because even though the instructors and your classmates will help you out, in the end it comes down to if you have the conviction and mindset and determination to do it. And even then you may fall short due to things you didn't realize.
So if you think you're up for the challenge of your life, and think you've got what it takes, I recommend Hallmark with everything I am. But be prepared, because it doesn't matter what hardships life has thrown at you, Hallmark is going to be worse. Simply because it's ten months of the Hell, and stress, and demands. Not a brief second that goes away. But if you can make it through, you're going to have elevated yourself above the rest, and achieve things you never dreamed possible before.
Hallmark is amazing. And it was always like I was walking in a dream while attending, because I could never quite believe that I was doing it the whole time I was there. Absolutely amazing. And I wouldn't have decided otherwise for the world. But it was also Hell on Earth, and probably the most difficult life challenge I've ever gone through. I'm stronger for it, but had I not had an inner strength to begin with I would never have made it as far as I did. And I sincerely believe that had I waited a little bit, I would have graduated with flying colours.
So choose wisely boys and girls. And remember, Hallmark will change your life forever.
Before I even begin though, I want to say this. Knowing what I do now, I still would have attended Hallmark. Even though I failed (technically), and had a lot of struggles. However! I don't know that I would have attended straight out of High School. I think I would have waited two years until my 20th birthday, gotten some real world experience and saved up a bit more, and then attended. Going right out of High School was nice, and it can work, I just don't think it was a good decision on my part with everything that was going on in my family and life.
That being said, let's get into it. We'll go from bad to good.
The Cons:
One of the biggest gripes I probably had, was that the instructor who assigned the photo shoot, didn't necessarily grade the photo shoot. So John Nordell, for example, would assign for you to go do the Photo Essay. And if you brought it to him, he might tell you that it's absolutely perfect. That what you did meets all requirements and expectations in his eyes. So you feel confident when you hand it in, because the instructor who assigned it gave you good remarks. But then when you get the graded assignment back, you see that it wasn't given full credit, and that it was because of technicalities in the portraits or something. And upon looking down you see that Rich Barnes, who is a portrait photographer and not a photojournalist, graded it. But that's how it is at Hallmark. One instructor hands it out, every instructor (pretty much) grades it. They just hand them out in sections. This was not liked, and I was echoed by my fellow classmates in this regard. We all felt that if the instructor assigned it, that instructor should grade it.
Another issue was getting in to see the instructors, and utilizing their knowledge. Because there are so few instructors compared to the number of students, this is no easy task. There were often lines waiting outside of doors in order to get in to see someone, and at the same time there were also students waiting in studios for help with their shoots. So any given instructor would be trying to help those in line, grade assignments, and help out in studio. Preferably all at once, because they were in high demand. I tended to stay away from instructors when they had the long lines, and go find someone else who wasn't busy, because I'm very bad at waiting in line when I have other things to do.
The Open House, as I'm sure you're aware already from a previous entry, was not a favourite event either. It wouldn't have been bad if we hadn't been used as janitors, and refused food until after it was over. We understood that we should tidy up tables and chairs, and hang the decorations ourselves, but what was not liked was that we were washing windows, dishes, cleaning the fridges out, dusting, sweeping, and generally being treated like custodians. That took it a bit far, and then when we were told that we must arrive by noon the day of, and we'd be there until probably 5pm cleaning up afterwards to get ready for school Monday, and that we couldn't eat any of the catered food that whole time, well, we were pissed. It would have been one thing if we weren't sure we'd have enough, but it was catered. What also failed miserably were some of the committees, like the one I was on, that basically did nothing because people chose to not utilize the service being offered.
If you attend Hallmark, also be ready to relearn anything you already know in Photoshop, Lightroom, InDesign, and Dreamweaver. They don't figure out where anyones' skills are regarding any of these programs, and so it's all mixed up. Many felt it would have been a better idea if they had separated our groups based on where our skill level was in Photoshop (since that was the main program taught), so that the more advanced users could be helped out with more advanced techniques, and not have to snooze through the simple stuff that had to be gone over several times for those who weren't as technologically adept. It was also a general feeling that this would have allowed for those that needed more help with Photoshop, to get it while in class. It can be understood that they wanted uniform teaching, but that really just doesn't seem fair to those who are also paying a lot of money to be at Hallmark and are just being retaught things they already know.
Final Portfolio Review was an issue to some too. It's a lot of stress, and can be very publicly humiliating because that camera zooms right in on you for all attending to see when you're up on stage and they announce if you pass or fail. There's also the problem that the judges are brought in not really knowing what they're to be looking for, and depending on the day will effect how they grade. One day they might be more lenient than another. Due to the fact that people traveled so far to see the student they supported graduate, there was a general feeling that those who went to re-review shouldn't have to wait until the last minute to know if they would pass. That, and it was felt there should have been more time for those in re-review to fix their work. One of those probably could have been done if Portfolio Reviews were started one week sooner.
I also didn't like that sometimes the whole truth didn't seem to be given to you. And I say this speaking from when I took my leave of absence. It was to my understanding that everything would be taken care of, because that's what Tammy said. And we went over the speech thing, and I knew I'd probably have to make it up because you do have to do all three. However, I was under the impression that because I was taking this leave, and because I had the doctor's note and all, that if the speech couldn't be gotten to, then it wouldn't be an issue. Especially since the only thing that was going to effect us graduating was that portfolio anyways. I was dead wrong. And if there was anything that put a lot of undue stress on me (heard that they never had to deliver the speech anyways), it was that. As if the final portfolio wasn't enough to worry about, and then re-review on top of that. So head my warning, double check on everything that's said to you, just in case.
The guest lecturer series also goes on for too long. During the time that we were having them, a lot would have rather been in the studios working on completing their final portfolio. A few would have been nice, and were, but after a while it started to sound like they were all saying the same thing. Personally, I felt that we needed a morale booster closer to the end, and we should have had another alumni roundtable because hearing from graduates who made it into the field is closer to us.
The Pros:
The thing that sticks out best in my mind, were all the kinds of photography and opportunities afforded to you throughout the program. It might only have been ten months, but during that time you met a lot of incredible people, were given a shot at aerial photography, could take side-jobs for pay in the field, got to assist, went to NYC (I skipped, personally), had a staff that actually worked in what they taught, had both professional portrait and commercial studios to work with, equipment on loan, ability to learn a view camera and a medium format camera, and probably a lot more that I'm forgetting. But the doors this opens for you are incredible! You're able to try so many new things that it becomes difficult to decide what you want to specialize in because there are now so many choices.
Hallmark is also willing to work with you after you've graduated. Even if it's 30 years down the road and you need a new job, they're still going to be there for you. Because they actually care about their alumni. Not a lot of colleges can boast that.
Tammy is also, supposedly, available 24/7 to you. There were times I couldn't get a hold of her, but she's human too so she gets benefit of the doubt. However, the effort and thought is there, and it's not something you're going to be offered at your basic college. You can see their guidance counselor person during school hours, and that's pretty much it.
Because it's such a focused school (photography and business surrounding it), you don't have to take any general education courses. This makes it easier to focus on becoming a photographer, and doing what you love to do as a career.
Hallmark also debunks the myths of the starving artist, and explains how and why it happens. They give you hope and spark the light at the end of the tunnel that yes, you can make money as an artist. Because it's true.
The education they provide is also top-notch, and they know how to condense it. Where you might spend a semester, for example, learning Art History in a regular 2-year college, Hallmark condensed it down to four hours, done in two two-hour sessions. And we all learned what we needed to know. They're very serious about what they want to teach, and the profession, giving it that efficiency.
The instructors are also all great people. Some you may not get along with as well as others, but that's life. You're not always going to like everyone. And not everyone will like you. But you'll find a lot of support and help from the staff no matter what, and that means a lot when you're in such a situation.
Hallmark also allows for you to make important connections to professionals already out in the working world. These connections can/will help you to become a known and working photographer yourself. That's important, because you'll have $50,000-$60,000 in loans to payback to the college when you're done.
Breaking it down, Hallmark is also a fairly cheap school. Think about it. 8-5, Mon-Fri like a regular job makes that ten months actually two years worth of schooling. Meaning you're paying $25,000-$30,000 a year basically to attend the Harvard of photography. Thinking about it that way really makes it seem less costly, even though you sell your soul to the bank the day you sign that paper.
Overall:
So yes, even though Hallmark has some pretty big cons, it has a lot of pros to help make up for it. If you're not someone that does well under stress though, or who isn't serious about making Photography your career, this isn't the school for you. Hallmark is tough, and they crack the whip of technical expertise at the end of the year like you wouldn't believe. You will have three speeches you are required to do, and an Open House to put on. There will be a lot of guest lecturers that make you want to open a vein with how dull and lifeless they are, and others who will have you on the edge of your seat. There will be instructors you love, and others you can't stand. The curriculum is grueling, and it'll be like a parasite that eats at your brain because suddenly life is Hallmark. If you're even the slightest bit wary in your decision to attend, I advice you to think long and hard about it, because this is like the army. They're not going to take any shit, and they'll put you through basic training more times than you think you can hold out through. You'll want to severely harm someone, something, or yourself eventually. And if you have no confidence in yourself or your work, go get some. You're going to need it because even though the instructors and your classmates will help you out, in the end it comes down to if you have the conviction and mindset and determination to do it. And even then you may fall short due to things you didn't realize.
So if you think you're up for the challenge of your life, and think you've got what it takes, I recommend Hallmark with everything I am. But be prepared, because it doesn't matter what hardships life has thrown at you, Hallmark is going to be worse. Simply because it's ten months of the Hell, and stress, and demands. Not a brief second that goes away. But if you can make it through, you're going to have elevated yourself above the rest, and achieve things you never dreamed possible before.
Hallmark is amazing. And it was always like I was walking in a dream while attending, because I could never quite believe that I was doing it the whole time I was there. Absolutely amazing. And I wouldn't have decided otherwise for the world. But it was also Hell on Earth, and probably the most difficult life challenge I've ever gone through. I'm stronger for it, but had I not had an inner strength to begin with I would never have made it as far as I did. And I sincerely believe that had I waited a little bit, I would have graduated with flying colours.
So choose wisely boys and girls. And remember, Hallmark will change your life forever.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Final Thoughts: The Instructors
My final thoughts on the instructors at Hallmark. Remember please that these are all based purely on my own experience and personality, and may or may not reflect the way you would feel about each individual.
Rob Archer
Rob is probably the first instructor I befriended as I was late to the first three days of class (hooray for killing an alarm clock and having a different time than Hallmark!) and found out how basic the web design was at first. He has the best voice I have ever heard, and sometimes I forgot to pay attention in class because my mind was too busy memorizing how his voice sounded. If this man were a voice actor, I would go out of my way to watch everything he spoke in, just like I do for Illich (see Gojyo in Saiyuki). Rob teaches web design at Hallmark, and he is insanely knowledgeable on the topic. He's warm and friendly, and always willing to help you out. Plus, his hair is amazing. And he did the hair flip for us. TOTAL WIN. Do not ever shave your head Rob, for I will be sad!!!
Rich Barnes
Rich is a rare sight during the beginning of the year, or at least he was for us, since he owns his own studio (Barnes Portrait Photography) and works under a special contract with Hallmark. But he graduated from Hallmark, and is an amazing portrait artist. He has a funny personality, and a personal "war" against Michael Zide that you will either enjoy (like me) or find bothersome. But it keeps things lively and entertaining at Hallmark, which is always good. Rich was the guy whose opinion I valued most on my portraits, because I felt a major draw towards him. I think it's because he's iving my dream, studio wise. That, and he has some of the BEST STORIES you will ever hear. Ever. Class is never boring with Rich, it's just not possible.
Paul Bissex
Paul was fun, and he always had a smile on his face. He's not one of the stronger people in my mind though, and I think that's because he taught web design along side Rob, who as you know, was busy making my brain lull to memorization of vocal tones mode. But I have no bad memories of him either, except for the car accident at the end of the year, and I sincerely hope that he is well enough to return to Hallmark in September. He has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to getting a domain name, and where to get it, along with writing your resume. And I know a resource like him is hard to come by. So pray for him however you prefer, and all of the Class of 2009 hope to be able to meet him.
Thom Burden
Thom wasn't an instructor, but he's David Fraizer's look-alike, and the man behind the technology at Hallmark. When it comes to the projector units, and all things related, he knows how to work it. Without him, Hallmark would not function at such a wonderful standard. Thank you Thom, and have fun sailing!
Peter Chilton
Peter... is the Hallmark Giant to me. This man TOWERS over me, and I swear he could use me as an armrest. Which, in a way, is kinda cool. But yes, anyone who is barely 5', watch out for this guy. He's the super tall one with awesome indie glasses. Peter helped teach design to us, and he's the kind of Photoshop user that you see all over the internet these days. The ones that are hip with the times and compositing with super amounts of layers and textures. You know, things I can't do. So if you're interested in that, hit up Peter for knowledge on it, because he's the man. Also check out his bands, Bane and Silent Drive. Both are AWESOME.
Dick D'Alessandro
Dick is down-to-earth, and he tells it like it is. He's the one that won't bullshit you about the program, and about what's going on. And when it comes to the commercial studio, watch out, because this guy is ON FIRE. He has an amazing commercial knowledge that he loves to share, and he will inspire you just as much as you can inspire him. He loves to have fun, and so long as you discuss the more involved (aka dangerous) ideas with him first, you can do pretty much anything. I really loved him for that, because he truly understands the inhibition of creativity.
Tony Downer
Tony is the guy who made me first feel noticed at Hallmark, because he found me to be intimidating in determination. And that meant something to me, because it meant I was leaving a good impression. Tony is the guy that doesn't bullshit about your images, or about what's going on in ANYTHING. He's going to tell you straight to your face if your photo sucks or not, so if you go to see him you better have some balls. But you'll be a better photographer for it. He has a goofy love for odd clothing as well, so watch out for this crazy green and white checked suit that he has. It's retina burning in crazy. But his orange jumpsuit during aerial photography is faaaar better.
David Fraizer
David is probably the zaniest of the bunch, in that he's like a seven year old kid trapped in an adult's body. This guy comes to class with sound effects and energy no matter what! And he's cut back from coffee to tea! Some people are really annoyed by this, but I find it refreshing and relaxing. I've found that I always learn better in a fun environment. I will admit though, David can be too thorough sometimes in his lectures, going over things a few too many times, and I fell asleep on him more than once. I feel bad about it, but if my mind gets bored, and with the chilly air from the AC keeping the computers cool... I just sort of dozed. >.< However, thanks to David, I can now comfortably work with InDesign. He is the master of that program, and it submits to him.
Gabriel Hmieleski
Gabe taught us about how to care for our computers, and was the preacher of Macs. This man has a vendetta for Windows, so us Windows users couldn't help but pick on the poor guy. But you can't help but love him, because he's like a computer hippie. He has this big beard, and he always, ALWAYS, smiles when he sees you. And he has these awesome love analogies. Gabe tels us he's a painter, but we secretly know he's a computer geek deep down inside. And we love him for it.
David Langley
David is probably the CUTEST elderly man I have ever met. And I mean that in a platonic way. He's just so sweet, and helpful, and it's wonderful to work with him. He has a wide variety of interests, and a ton of experience as a working commercial photographer. When it comes to the industry, and what's looked for in an assistant, he's the guy to go to. Sometimes he can seem harsh, and like he doesn't care, but that's in his nature from work. And there is no way you can hate him for it. If you're looking into doing anything commercial or assistant related, and you don't speak to David, you've wasted your money. He's a powerhouse of knowledge on it, and willing to share. All you have to do is ask.
Michael Merrit
Michael was not one of my favourite instructors. He tries very hard to add humour to the class, and while there are those who enjoyed it I'm sure, I wasn't one of them. To me it felt like he talked Photoshop to death, and that just kind of made things boring. As a person though, he seems like a really nice guy, and he's more than willing to help you out. I know I received some from him before. He knows his stuff, it can just be hard to pay attention. And I blame the system for a lot of it, but I'll discuss that in another post.
Tammy Murphey
Tammy is the "mom" of Hallmark, and basically the guidance counselor. I didn't get along too well with her though, due to a severe personality clash. Something about her I just didn't like, and so I kept a bit of distance. But she really is always there if you need anything, so don't hesitate to go see her.
Lindsay Nelson
Lindsay was often the model for the other portrait instructors, and I'm going for the reason being that she's the youngest and lacked seniority. But she's a good sport, and she knows her stuff. Sadly, that's all I can tell you because I had trouble telling the three female instructors apart. They all looked the same to me; probably because they were all blonde with short hair. o.o;;; But I can tell you that she's a very nice person.
Shelly Nicholson
Shelly was responsible for the school store, and a lot of our student records. I found her to be a good friend, always having a smile for us students, and a really friendly personality. She's a great one to talk to.
John Nordell
John is the local photojournalist, and he was the one who reviewed my portfolio during my interview at Hallmark. He and I made a connection then, and I felt like I had a connection to him all year. He's a really neat guy with some interesting stories to tell. Some of his classes seem a bit hokey though, but bear with him, they all serve a purpose. In the end, he teaches the oddball side of photography, and the thought process and creativity behind it, in a sense. He's also the guy to go to when you have an event you're going to photograph, and you want some pointers. This guy is renowned for his photojournalism, and you'd do good to learn about it.
Danica Perry
Danica was another of the females. She helps with portraiture stuff, and weddings I think, but I don't remember much else. Possibly Quickbooks... but like I said, the females all blended together to me. ^^; I know she was nice!
Tom Prutisto
Tom is the head guy in Photoshop, and he's the epitome of what you'd figure an artist would look like. Like Michael it seemed lie his lessons dragged though, and once again I blame the system. But he was a cool guy, and good for looking at your prints to check their quality. Make sure you have him look at your stuff. He's got a really good eye for quality control.
George Rosa III
George is the most involved president I've ever seen, and he's willing to work with the students as much as the instructors because he truly believes in his school. This helps to make the learning experience better, and I respect him a lot for all his efforts.
Christina Sheppard
The last of the three blonde females. Christina I think is the one whose going to teach you about taxes at 8am on a Monday morning, but I won't swear to it. She's got a very business-like nature to her though, I remember that much. And I respected it greatly.
Joey Skroski
Joey runs the equipment room where you can borrow stuff. He's fun and likes to joke around, but don't piss this guy off because it never ends well. He can get revenge like no tomorrow! But in a fun way.
Paul Teeling
Paul was not someone I saw eye-to-eye with. His idea of what made a photograph good and mine differed a lot. But still, he has his own vision and that was cool. Something to watch out for with him though, is that his voice is very monotone. It put me to sleep more than once, which I regret. He will teach all girls how to be as strong as a guy though if they're interested in doing commercial work, which is awesome. And add to that a very open personality, and you have a very likable guy. Sometimes I'm sad my personality seemed to clash with his.
Joan Terry
Joan is the hardest design expert to get in to see. She often has a line at her door, and will spend a good two hours talking to you and helping you out. But the information she can give you, and the advice she has, is priceless. If you are at all interested in design, this is the woman to see. What's really strange though, now that I think about it, is that she's the only female I recognized on sight. I think it's because she's a brunette, and not blonde.
Michael Zide
Michael is the guy to see if you're into weird stuff like me. He and I made an instant connection the day he was playing Beach Boys and talking about El Chupacabra. He has this wonderful personality that full of charm and humour, and he'll never fail to keep you entertained if you're a little bit out in left field like me. Any time I had an oddball item, or idea, I went to him, and he shared the same with me. I will never forget when he demonstrated a bad diagonal to us. He's just super funny, and a wealth of information when it comes to landscapes and fine art.
So there you have it, my final views on all the instructors and some assorted staff.
Rob Archer
Rob is probably the first instructor I befriended as I was late to the first three days of class (hooray for killing an alarm clock and having a different time than Hallmark!) and found out how basic the web design was at first. He has the best voice I have ever heard, and sometimes I forgot to pay attention in class because my mind was too busy memorizing how his voice sounded. If this man were a voice actor, I would go out of my way to watch everything he spoke in, just like I do for Illich (see Gojyo in Saiyuki). Rob teaches web design at Hallmark, and he is insanely knowledgeable on the topic. He's warm and friendly, and always willing to help you out. Plus, his hair is amazing. And he did the hair flip for us. TOTAL WIN. Do not ever shave your head Rob, for I will be sad!!!
Rich Barnes
Rich is a rare sight during the beginning of the year, or at least he was for us, since he owns his own studio (Barnes Portrait Photography) and works under a special contract with Hallmark. But he graduated from Hallmark, and is an amazing portrait artist. He has a funny personality, and a personal "war" against Michael Zide that you will either enjoy (like me) or find bothersome. But it keeps things lively and entertaining at Hallmark, which is always good. Rich was the guy whose opinion I valued most on my portraits, because I felt a major draw towards him. I think it's because he's iving my dream, studio wise. That, and he has some of the BEST STORIES you will ever hear. Ever. Class is never boring with Rich, it's just not possible.
Paul Bissex
Paul was fun, and he always had a smile on his face. He's not one of the stronger people in my mind though, and I think that's because he taught web design along side Rob, who as you know, was busy making my brain lull to memorization of vocal tones mode. But I have no bad memories of him either, except for the car accident at the end of the year, and I sincerely hope that he is well enough to return to Hallmark in September. He has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to getting a domain name, and where to get it, along with writing your resume. And I know a resource like him is hard to come by. So pray for him however you prefer, and all of the Class of 2009 hope to be able to meet him.
Thom Burden
Thom wasn't an instructor, but he's David Fraizer's look-alike, and the man behind the technology at Hallmark. When it comes to the projector units, and all things related, he knows how to work it. Without him, Hallmark would not function at such a wonderful standard. Thank you Thom, and have fun sailing!
Peter Chilton
Peter... is the Hallmark Giant to me. This man TOWERS over me, and I swear he could use me as an armrest. Which, in a way, is kinda cool. But yes, anyone who is barely 5', watch out for this guy. He's the super tall one with awesome indie glasses. Peter helped teach design to us, and he's the kind of Photoshop user that you see all over the internet these days. The ones that are hip with the times and compositing with super amounts of layers and textures. You know, things I can't do. So if you're interested in that, hit up Peter for knowledge on it, because he's the man. Also check out his bands, Bane and Silent Drive. Both are AWESOME.
Dick D'Alessandro
Dick is down-to-earth, and he tells it like it is. He's the one that won't bullshit you about the program, and about what's going on. And when it comes to the commercial studio, watch out, because this guy is ON FIRE. He has an amazing commercial knowledge that he loves to share, and he will inspire you just as much as you can inspire him. He loves to have fun, and so long as you discuss the more involved (aka dangerous) ideas with him first, you can do pretty much anything. I really loved him for that, because he truly understands the inhibition of creativity.
Tony Downer
Tony is the guy who made me first feel noticed at Hallmark, because he found me to be intimidating in determination. And that meant something to me, because it meant I was leaving a good impression. Tony is the guy that doesn't bullshit about your images, or about what's going on in ANYTHING. He's going to tell you straight to your face if your photo sucks or not, so if you go to see him you better have some balls. But you'll be a better photographer for it. He has a goofy love for odd clothing as well, so watch out for this crazy green and white checked suit that he has. It's retina burning in crazy. But his orange jumpsuit during aerial photography is faaaar better.
David Fraizer
David is probably the zaniest of the bunch, in that he's like a seven year old kid trapped in an adult's body. This guy comes to class with sound effects and energy no matter what! And he's cut back from coffee to tea! Some people are really annoyed by this, but I find it refreshing and relaxing. I've found that I always learn better in a fun environment. I will admit though, David can be too thorough sometimes in his lectures, going over things a few too many times, and I fell asleep on him more than once. I feel bad about it, but if my mind gets bored, and with the chilly air from the AC keeping the computers cool... I just sort of dozed. >.< However, thanks to David, I can now comfortably work with InDesign. He is the master of that program, and it submits to him.
Gabriel Hmieleski
Gabe taught us about how to care for our computers, and was the preacher of Macs. This man has a vendetta for Windows, so us Windows users couldn't help but pick on the poor guy. But you can't help but love him, because he's like a computer hippie. He has this big beard, and he always, ALWAYS, smiles when he sees you. And he has these awesome love analogies. Gabe tels us he's a painter, but we secretly know he's a computer geek deep down inside. And we love him for it.
David Langley
David is probably the CUTEST elderly man I have ever met. And I mean that in a platonic way. He's just so sweet, and helpful, and it's wonderful to work with him. He has a wide variety of interests, and a ton of experience as a working commercial photographer. When it comes to the industry, and what's looked for in an assistant, he's the guy to go to. Sometimes he can seem harsh, and like he doesn't care, but that's in his nature from work. And there is no way you can hate him for it. If you're looking into doing anything commercial or assistant related, and you don't speak to David, you've wasted your money. He's a powerhouse of knowledge on it, and willing to share. All you have to do is ask.
Michael Merrit
Michael was not one of my favourite instructors. He tries very hard to add humour to the class, and while there are those who enjoyed it I'm sure, I wasn't one of them. To me it felt like he talked Photoshop to death, and that just kind of made things boring. As a person though, he seems like a really nice guy, and he's more than willing to help you out. I know I received some from him before. He knows his stuff, it can just be hard to pay attention. And I blame the system for a lot of it, but I'll discuss that in another post.
Tammy Murphey
Tammy is the "mom" of Hallmark, and basically the guidance counselor. I didn't get along too well with her though, due to a severe personality clash. Something about her I just didn't like, and so I kept a bit of distance. But she really is always there if you need anything, so don't hesitate to go see her.
Lindsay Nelson
Lindsay was often the model for the other portrait instructors, and I'm going for the reason being that she's the youngest and lacked seniority. But she's a good sport, and she knows her stuff. Sadly, that's all I can tell you because I had trouble telling the three female instructors apart. They all looked the same to me; probably because they were all blonde with short hair. o.o;;; But I can tell you that she's a very nice person.
Shelly Nicholson
Shelly was responsible for the school store, and a lot of our student records. I found her to be a good friend, always having a smile for us students, and a really friendly personality. She's a great one to talk to.
John Nordell
John is the local photojournalist, and he was the one who reviewed my portfolio during my interview at Hallmark. He and I made a connection then, and I felt like I had a connection to him all year. He's a really neat guy with some interesting stories to tell. Some of his classes seem a bit hokey though, but bear with him, they all serve a purpose. In the end, he teaches the oddball side of photography, and the thought process and creativity behind it, in a sense. He's also the guy to go to when you have an event you're going to photograph, and you want some pointers. This guy is renowned for his photojournalism, and you'd do good to learn about it.
Danica Perry
Danica was another of the females. She helps with portraiture stuff, and weddings I think, but I don't remember much else. Possibly Quickbooks... but like I said, the females all blended together to me. ^^; I know she was nice!
Tom Prutisto
Tom is the head guy in Photoshop, and he's the epitome of what you'd figure an artist would look like. Like Michael it seemed lie his lessons dragged though, and once again I blame the system. But he was a cool guy, and good for looking at your prints to check their quality. Make sure you have him look at your stuff. He's got a really good eye for quality control.
George Rosa III
George is the most involved president I've ever seen, and he's willing to work with the students as much as the instructors because he truly believes in his school. This helps to make the learning experience better, and I respect him a lot for all his efforts.
Christina Sheppard
The last of the three blonde females. Christina I think is the one whose going to teach you about taxes at 8am on a Monday morning, but I won't swear to it. She's got a very business-like nature to her though, I remember that much. And I respected it greatly.
Joey Skroski
Joey runs the equipment room where you can borrow stuff. He's fun and likes to joke around, but don't piss this guy off because it never ends well. He can get revenge like no tomorrow! But in a fun way.
Paul Teeling
Paul was not someone I saw eye-to-eye with. His idea of what made a photograph good and mine differed a lot. But still, he has his own vision and that was cool. Something to watch out for with him though, is that his voice is very monotone. It put me to sleep more than once, which I regret. He will teach all girls how to be as strong as a guy though if they're interested in doing commercial work, which is awesome. And add to that a very open personality, and you have a very likable guy. Sometimes I'm sad my personality seemed to clash with his.
Joan Terry
Joan is the hardest design expert to get in to see. She often has a line at her door, and will spend a good two hours talking to you and helping you out. But the information she can give you, and the advice she has, is priceless. If you are at all interested in design, this is the woman to see. What's really strange though, now that I think about it, is that she's the only female I recognized on sight. I think it's because she's a brunette, and not blonde.
Michael Zide
Michael is the guy to see if you're into weird stuff like me. He and I made an instant connection the day he was playing Beach Boys and talking about El Chupacabra. He has this wonderful personality that full of charm and humour, and he'll never fail to keep you entertained if you're a little bit out in left field like me. Any time I had an oddball item, or idea, I went to him, and he shared the same with me. I will never forget when he demonstrated a bad diagonal to us. He's just super funny, and a wealth of information when it comes to landscapes and fine art.
So there you have it, my final views on all the instructors and some assorted staff.
I am a Graduate... kind of
So my parents and I went and met with George on Friday, and I feel like I graduated now. Not that I actually did, but because George explained the decision and it makes sense. Everything just sort of came together. And it's a reasoning I cannot argue with.
So this is why I didn't graduate: Four of the six images I re-shot were of phase two quality, and not phase four. While I did have the help of my instructors, they can only offer advice on lighting. The way the shot is set up, and how I shoot it/expose it are entirely up to me. And so is the subject matter. The other item is that they picked my weakest group of images to re-shoot, meaning that not all of the images I already had were of top quality. And so, thanks to an over-abundance of stress I am still learning to work under, I was unable to technically graduate from Hallmark.
I still feel like a graduate though, because I took the extra step to go see George, and I'm immensely glad that I did. It cleared up my questions, and made both my parents and I feel a lot better. And while we were there, George and I put together a mini portfolio of my best images that I can get work with. He'd like for me to get some better group images as well to demonstrate that to my fullest ability too, so I'm going to get on that as soon as I can.
Out of everything I shot though, there were fourteen images that made it into that smaller body of best work, and it surprised George. He told us he was worried that he and I'd be working together over the summer and that he wouldn't find much to go on in my portfolio. So I'm glad that I proved him wrong. I like proving people wrong in instances like those.
I would love to show you all the final portfolio that failed re-review, and to show you the mini one, but sadly I still have to get everything off my portable hard drive. Which, I need a Mac to do, and I can't get my hands on one until Thursday when I see my aunt. So that will have to wait.
And I also learned a very valuable lesson: It's going to take experience for me to learn to properly work under stress. So you better believe I'll be working at it!
But yes, I feel like I graduated now. I will be posting my final thoughts soon.
And in the mean time, please see my new blog to follow my life after Hallmark, since I tend to have some interesting adventures!
So this is why I didn't graduate: Four of the six images I re-shot were of phase two quality, and not phase four. While I did have the help of my instructors, they can only offer advice on lighting. The way the shot is set up, and how I shoot it/expose it are entirely up to me. And so is the subject matter. The other item is that they picked my weakest group of images to re-shoot, meaning that not all of the images I already had were of top quality. And so, thanks to an over-abundance of stress I am still learning to work under, I was unable to technically graduate from Hallmark.
I still feel like a graduate though, because I took the extra step to go see George, and I'm immensely glad that I did. It cleared up my questions, and made both my parents and I feel a lot better. And while we were there, George and I put together a mini portfolio of my best images that I can get work with. He'd like for me to get some better group images as well to demonstrate that to my fullest ability too, so I'm going to get on that as soon as I can.
Out of everything I shot though, there were fourteen images that made it into that smaller body of best work, and it surprised George. He told us he was worried that he and I'd be working together over the summer and that he wouldn't find much to go on in my portfolio. So I'm glad that I proved him wrong. I like proving people wrong in instances like those.
I would love to show you all the final portfolio that failed re-review, and to show you the mini one, but sadly I still have to get everything off my portable hard drive. Which, I need a Mac to do, and I can't get my hands on one until Thursday when I see my aunt. So that will have to wait.
And I also learned a very valuable lesson: It's going to take experience for me to learn to properly work under stress. So you better believe I'll be working at it!
But yes, I feel like I graduated now. I will be posting my final thoughts soon.
And in the mean time, please see my new blog to follow my life after Hallmark, since I tend to have some interesting adventures!
Friday, June 20, 2008
It's Over
So it's all over. Myself and three others failed the re-review process, and will not be graduating with the class of 2008 at Hallmark. At this point in time, I don't know why I failed. All George was able to tell me was that all five panelists, who were our instructors this time, failed me.
Let's go over the past few days though, before I get into anymore re-review details.
During the last two days I've worked with Rich Barnes on picking out images I had for my portfolio. During the time we also figured out how to crop and tone things, and where other retouching was needed. He offered advice and had me print extra so that we could pick and choose for my additional personal submissions.
After sitting with Rich, I saw David Fraizer about the conceptual. I was supposed to go see Joan, but time was of the essence, and I didn't have hours to sit out in front of that woman's office waiting for her. And that's how it is because she always has a line. I can't even sugar coat this one, because it was bad enough that there were chairs for people to sit in while they waited. So I saw David and we brainstormed. I was going to do ghosts in the graveyard by painting with light and stuff, but upon looking at the criteria, it turns out it had to be done in studio. So I sat for about two hours one night going through conceptual photos on DeviantART (let's face it, there's a vast resource there once you weed through the junk) to get ideas, and finally came up with Dangerous Beauty.
My other issues were mainly commercial, and so I was in the Commercial Studio for hours. Paul Teeling and I worked together on both my metal shot, and on the conceptual one. Dick looked over my architecture, and after determining the dining room wouldn't work he sent me to the Hotel Northampton. So I did that super early in the morning and worked with Dick on that one. And then David Langley and I put together my new environmental still life. Like, David was amazingly helpful. He was explaining new tricks with exposure to me, and what I appreciated the most was that he let me borrow his filters so that we could reduce the glare that was happening and stuff. Like... David helped me make that shot, and I don't mean that lightly. That shot would not be worthy of being seen without his help.
The only person I didn't get to was Tom Purtisto. It came down to the wire Wednesday with printing, and the final bits of retouching, so I wasn't exactly living in the lap of luxury, time wise. What didn't help either, was that my mind was scattered all over from the stress, lack of sleep, and the worry about getting my equipment into Joey by 4pm. He was kind enough to let me slide on it though when I forgot the battery charger that day since I was going through the re-review process. That really took a lot of stress out of my life right then, and gave me an extra 45min to work on my stuff.
So it all came down to the wire, and I laid it out upstairs in the lounge, and myself and instructors put it in order, switched out some personal submissions, and I handed it in.
Re-review was the scariest thing all week. I was shaking something horrible, because that was it. You either passed or failed, day before graduation. Michael Zide stood with me during it, and he seemed impressed by it. He actually seemed shocked when it didn't pass.
That was around 11am. George was kind though, and told me that it wasn't the end of my career. Which, I knew. There is nothing short of severe physical injury that's going to stop me from being a photographer. And self-employed for that. David Fraizer and Shelly were also there to offer their comforts, which is nice. Because I was definitely crying, there was no stopping that. But after I spoke with them, I had to go over to the Administration Building to sign the papers saying I was leaving. What I don't get is why I had to turn in my student ID when it expires after the 20th. That kind of sucked, because I'm a sentimental person and I would have liked to have kept it. But, too late for that now I guess. :\
Andy was there, and he and I chatted for a bit as well. Everyone was very encouraging that this wasn't the end of the world. Which, I definitely knew then and know now. I just needed some time to come home and let it sink in. And call my parents and let them know.
Speaking of my parents, they demanded we head back to the school that afternoon. And my family (Aunt, grandmother, ect...) and friends are a bit up in arms over it as well. But I'll go into that later.
All I know is that all five panelists failed me. And they were Rich, Dick, Tony, Joan, and Tom. From what George said, somehow I didn't meet the artistic or technical expectations. I'm not sure how, but he encouraged us to return next week where he would go over the portfolio picture-by-picture with myself and my parents, and determine where my weaknesses are, and what I can do to improve. So that's definitely nice of him. I can't get my certificate of completion, but at least I'm not being thrown out with nothing. George said it's because I handled it calmly, and he, like everyone else, was then shocked to find out I'm 19. But, I expected that. I've gotten used to it.
I think what stung the most, was letting down those who were cheering me on. I don't know how I do it, but somehow I can put this behind me and move on with ease. My guess is that it'll just hit me slowly. But I have no regrets, because you know what? I made it. I stuck it out through the thick and thin for ten months, the first time ever being on my own, and while I may not have passed, I proved to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to.
But yes, I cannot graduate. I still have the education though, and I will still use it.
I will put some final thoughts and overviews up another day. I need to pack, and start moving back to NY.
Let's go over the past few days though, before I get into anymore re-review details.
During the last two days I've worked with Rich Barnes on picking out images I had for my portfolio. During the time we also figured out how to crop and tone things, and where other retouching was needed. He offered advice and had me print extra so that we could pick and choose for my additional personal submissions.
After sitting with Rich, I saw David Fraizer about the conceptual. I was supposed to go see Joan, but time was of the essence, and I didn't have hours to sit out in front of that woman's office waiting for her. And that's how it is because she always has a line. I can't even sugar coat this one, because it was bad enough that there were chairs for people to sit in while they waited. So I saw David and we brainstormed. I was going to do ghosts in the graveyard by painting with light and stuff, but upon looking at the criteria, it turns out it had to be done in studio. So I sat for about two hours one night going through conceptual photos on DeviantART (let's face it, there's a vast resource there once you weed through the junk) to get ideas, and finally came up with Dangerous Beauty.
My other issues were mainly commercial, and so I was in the Commercial Studio for hours. Paul Teeling and I worked together on both my metal shot, and on the conceptual one. Dick looked over my architecture, and after determining the dining room wouldn't work he sent me to the Hotel Northampton. So I did that super early in the morning and worked with Dick on that one. And then David Langley and I put together my new environmental still life. Like, David was amazingly helpful. He was explaining new tricks with exposure to me, and what I appreciated the most was that he let me borrow his filters so that we could reduce the glare that was happening and stuff. Like... David helped me make that shot, and I don't mean that lightly. That shot would not be worthy of being seen without his help.
The only person I didn't get to was Tom Purtisto. It came down to the wire Wednesday with printing, and the final bits of retouching, so I wasn't exactly living in the lap of luxury, time wise. What didn't help either, was that my mind was scattered all over from the stress, lack of sleep, and the worry about getting my equipment into Joey by 4pm. He was kind enough to let me slide on it though when I forgot the battery charger that day since I was going through the re-review process. That really took a lot of stress out of my life right then, and gave me an extra 45min to work on my stuff.
So it all came down to the wire, and I laid it out upstairs in the lounge, and myself and instructors put it in order, switched out some personal submissions, and I handed it in.
Re-review was the scariest thing all week. I was shaking something horrible, because that was it. You either passed or failed, day before graduation. Michael Zide stood with me during it, and he seemed impressed by it. He actually seemed shocked when it didn't pass.
That was around 11am. George was kind though, and told me that it wasn't the end of my career. Which, I knew. There is nothing short of severe physical injury that's going to stop me from being a photographer. And self-employed for that. David Fraizer and Shelly were also there to offer their comforts, which is nice. Because I was definitely crying, there was no stopping that. But after I spoke with them, I had to go over to the Administration Building to sign the papers saying I was leaving. What I don't get is why I had to turn in my student ID when it expires after the 20th. That kind of sucked, because I'm a sentimental person and I would have liked to have kept it. But, too late for that now I guess. :\
Andy was there, and he and I chatted for a bit as well. Everyone was very encouraging that this wasn't the end of the world. Which, I definitely knew then and know now. I just needed some time to come home and let it sink in. And call my parents and let them know.
Speaking of my parents, they demanded we head back to the school that afternoon. And my family (Aunt, grandmother, ect...) and friends are a bit up in arms over it as well. But I'll go into that later.
All I know is that all five panelists failed me. And they were Rich, Dick, Tony, Joan, and Tom. From what George said, somehow I didn't meet the artistic or technical expectations. I'm not sure how, but he encouraged us to return next week where he would go over the portfolio picture-by-picture with myself and my parents, and determine where my weaknesses are, and what I can do to improve. So that's definitely nice of him. I can't get my certificate of completion, but at least I'm not being thrown out with nothing. George said it's because I handled it calmly, and he, like everyone else, was then shocked to find out I'm 19. But, I expected that. I've gotten used to it.
I think what stung the most, was letting down those who were cheering me on. I don't know how I do it, but somehow I can put this behind me and move on with ease. My guess is that it'll just hit me slowly. But I have no regrets, because you know what? I made it. I stuck it out through the thick and thin for ten months, the first time ever being on my own, and while I may not have passed, I proved to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to.
But yes, I cannot graduate. I still have the education though, and I will still use it.
I will put some final thoughts and overviews up another day. I need to pack, and start moving back to NY.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Just Can't Win v_v;
So I come home today for lunch, and to pick up stuff to use in the CS, and what do I see but a freaking weather warning! I can't win!
Here's what it says:
" Special Weather Statement
HARTFORD CT-TOLLAND CT-WINDHAM CT- WESTERN FRANKLIN MA- EASTERN FRANKLIN MA-NORTHERN WORCESTER MA-CENTRAL MIDDLESEX MA- WESTERN ESSEX MA-EASTERN ESSEX MA-WESTERN HAMPSHIRE MA- WESTERN HAMPDEN MA-EASTERN HAMPSHIRE MA- EASTERN HAMPDEN MA- SOUTHERN WORCESTER MA-WESTERN NORFOLK MA-SOUTHEAST MIDDLESEX MA- SUFFOLK MA-EASTERN NORFOLK MA-NORTHERN BRISTOL MA- WESTERN PLYMOUTH MA-EASTERN PLYMOUTH MA-NORTHERN MIDDLESEX MA- CHESHIRE NH- EASTERN HILLSBOROUGH NH- WESTERN AND CENTRAL HILLSBOROUGH NH-NORTHWEST PROVIDENCE RI- SOUTHEAST PROVIDENCE RI- WESTERN KENT RI-EASTERN KENT RI- INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...HARTFORD... WINDSOR LOCKS...UNION... VERNON... PUTNAM...WILLIMANTIC...CHARLEMONT... GREENFIELD... ORANGE...BARRE... FITCHBURG...FRAMINGHAM...LOWELL... LAWRENCE... GLOUCESTER... CHESTERFIELD...BLANDFORD...AMHERST... NORTHAMPTON... SPRINGFIELD...MILFORD... WORCESTER...FOXBORO...NORWOOD... CAMBRIDGE...BOSTON...QUINCY... TAUNTON...BROCKTON...PLYMOUTH... AYER...JAFFREY...KEENE...MANCHESTER... NASHUA...PETERBOROUGH... WEARE... FOSTER...SMITHFIELD...PROVIDENCE... WEST GREENWICH... WARWICK 1018 AM EDT TUE JUN 17 2008
...SCATTERED STRONG THUNDERSTORMS WITH HAIL AND FREQUENT LIGHTNING ARE EXPECTED TO DEVELOP THIS AFTERNOON...
SKIES HAVE BECOME PARTLY SUNNY ACROSS MOST OF SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND LATE THIS MORNING. THE DAYTIME HEATING WILL COMBINE WITH AN APPROACHING COLD FRONT TO TRIGGER SCATTERED AFTERNOON THUNDERSTORMS.
THE SCATTERED THUNDERSTORMS ARE EXPECTED TO DEVELOP ACROSS THE REGION BETWEEN NOON AND 2 PM. THE THUNDERSTORMS WILL BE HIT OR MISS... BUT COULD POPUP JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE THROUGH EARLY AFTERNOON. AS WE GET LATER IN THE AFTERNOON...THE FOCUS FOR THE SCATTERED THUNDERSTORMS SHOULD SHIFT INTO SOUTHEAST NEW HAMPSHIRE... EASTERN MASSACHUSETTS AND PORTIONS OF RHODE ISLAND. THE ACTIVITY SHOULD THEN MOVE OFF THE COAST BY EARLY EVENING.
WHILE A MAJOR SEVERE WEATHER OUTBREAK IS NOT EXPECTED...THESE THUNDERSTORMS ARE EXPECTED TO PRODUCE HAIL ALONG WITH FREQUENT CLOUD TO GROUND LIGHTNING. A FEW OF THE STORMS WILL PROBABLY BECOME SEVERE AND PRODUCE LARGE HAIL. A SECONDARY CONCERN IS FOR GUSTY WINDS WITH THE STRONGER STORMS.
THOSE WITH OUTDOOR PLANS TODAY SHOULD HAVE A PLACE OF SAFETY AVAILABLE AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE LATEST WEATHER INFORMATION. YOU SHOULD BE PREPARED TO GET TO A SAFE PLACE AT THE FIRST SIGN OF THREATENING WEATHER."
Greeeeaaaaat. Seriously, WHY NOW!? Couldn't this all... oh... I don't know... wait until NEXT week? When I'm NOT busy!? Good god... >.<; And I need to shoot in a graveyard after dark today too for my conceptual. The weather better clear up by then! *shakefist*
The skies are already starting to darken too. ;_;
Here's what it says:
" Special Weather Statement
HARTFORD CT-TOLLAND CT-WINDHAM CT- WESTERN FRANKLIN MA- EASTERN FRANKLIN MA-NORTHERN WORCESTER MA-CENTRAL MIDDLESEX MA- WESTERN ESSEX MA-EASTERN ESSEX MA-WESTERN HAMPSHIRE MA- WESTERN HAMPDEN MA-EASTERN HAMPSHIRE MA- EASTERN HAMPDEN MA- SOUTHERN WORCESTER MA-WESTERN NORFOLK MA-SOUTHEAST MIDDLESEX MA- SUFFOLK MA-EASTERN NORFOLK MA-NORTHERN BRISTOL MA- WESTERN PLYMOUTH MA-EASTERN PLYMOUTH MA-NORTHERN MIDDLESEX MA- CHESHIRE NH- EASTERN HILLSBOROUGH NH- WESTERN AND CENTRAL HILLSBOROUGH NH-NORTHWEST PROVIDENCE RI- SOUTHEAST PROVIDENCE RI- WESTERN KENT RI-EASTERN KENT RI- INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...HARTFORD... WINDSOR LOCKS...UNION... VERNON... PUTNAM...WILLIMANTIC...CHARLEMONT... GREENFIELD... ORANGE...BARRE... FITCHBURG...FRAMINGHAM...LOWELL... LAWRENCE... GLOUCESTER... CHESTERFIELD...BLANDFORD...AMHERST... NORTHAMPTON... SPRINGFIELD...MILFORD... WORCESTER...FOXBORO...NORWOOD... CAMBRIDGE...BOSTON...QUINCY... TAUNTON...BROCKTON...PLYMOUTH... AYER...JAFFREY...KEENE...MANCHESTER... NASHUA...PETERBOROUGH... WEARE... FOSTER...SMITHFIELD...PROVIDENCE... WEST GREENWICH... WARWICK 1018 AM EDT TUE JUN 17 2008
...SCATTERED STRONG THUNDERSTORMS WITH HAIL AND FREQUENT LIGHTNING ARE EXPECTED TO DEVELOP THIS AFTERNOON...
SKIES HAVE BECOME PARTLY SUNNY ACROSS MOST OF SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND LATE THIS MORNING. THE DAYTIME HEATING WILL COMBINE WITH AN APPROACHING COLD FRONT TO TRIGGER SCATTERED AFTERNOON THUNDERSTORMS.
THE SCATTERED THUNDERSTORMS ARE EXPECTED TO DEVELOP ACROSS THE REGION BETWEEN NOON AND 2 PM. THE THUNDERSTORMS WILL BE HIT OR MISS... BUT COULD POPUP JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE THROUGH EARLY AFTERNOON. AS WE GET LATER IN THE AFTERNOON...THE FOCUS FOR THE SCATTERED THUNDERSTORMS SHOULD SHIFT INTO SOUTHEAST NEW HAMPSHIRE... EASTERN MASSACHUSETTS AND PORTIONS OF RHODE ISLAND. THE ACTIVITY SHOULD THEN MOVE OFF THE COAST BY EARLY EVENING.
WHILE A MAJOR SEVERE WEATHER OUTBREAK IS NOT EXPECTED...THESE THUNDERSTORMS ARE EXPECTED TO PRODUCE HAIL ALONG WITH FREQUENT CLOUD TO GROUND LIGHTNING. A FEW OF THE STORMS WILL PROBABLY BECOME SEVERE AND PRODUCE LARGE HAIL. A SECONDARY CONCERN IS FOR GUSTY WINDS WITH THE STRONGER STORMS.
THOSE WITH OUTDOOR PLANS TODAY SHOULD HAVE A PLACE OF SAFETY AVAILABLE AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE LATEST WEATHER INFORMATION. YOU SHOULD BE PREPARED TO GET TO A SAFE PLACE AT THE FIRST SIGN OF THREATENING WEATHER."
Greeeeaaaaat. Seriously, WHY NOW!? Couldn't this all... oh... I don't know... wait until NEXT week? When I'm NOT busy!? Good god... >.<; And I need to shoot in a graveyard after dark today too for my conceptual. The weather better clear up by then! *shakefist*
The skies are already starting to darken too. ;_;
Monday, June 16, 2008
Wind and Hail
So, that storm that was scaring the crap out of me is all gone I think. It's been calm for about three hours now... so it should be. But um, it created winds powerful enough to drive the branches on the trees next to the apartment against the walls (they're a good distance away). And then there was the marble sized hail. Good god... You better believe I freaked out. Grabbed my blanket, laptop, and pillow, and then hid out in my mini-hallway. Since that's the only centrally located room with no outside walls. It was the safest place to be. Rachael offered me space at her house so I wouldn't be alone and scared, but um... there was no way I was going outside. What-so-ever. I'm still not. I'll wait for tomorrow. When I can watch the skies. At least in NY I know the weather fairly well... here in MA I'm a bit more clueless. It's further south and closer to the coast than where I am in NY, and much lower in elevation, so... things are different. And I hate it. I am going to try to be to Hallmark by 8am though to make up for time missed today. I need to. I've already set my alarm for 7am. Now I just have to get my stomach to stop rejecting the dinner I gave it from the panic attack after effects, and relax so I can get to bed at a normal hour. Oh, and do some retouching so that I have less to complete tomorrow, and just a lot of printing. That would be good. But, first things first, I gotta calm down. So I'm going to watch a few episodes of Saiyuki, take my mind off troubles, so that I can concentrate. Working while shaking produces bad imagery. That was lesson number one in photo retouching from Miss. Mierzwa. Granted, we were working with dye, but photoshop is no different. You can make bad digital marks after all. So I'm off to stop the shakes and panic. And then to work.
I'm late, I'm late...
I'm late! I'm late! I'm very, very late! >.< I didn't get out of the house until 12:30pm. Ugh. So I got in about 3pm, and that'd have been fine to print proofs and go to the school... except I had to run and buy ink. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING. *falls over* @_@;; So it looks like tonight I am going to retouch the things that were listed on my super laggy laptop (Mamiya files are just toooooo big. >.<;;), and then tomorrow I'll get some crits and shoot in the CS. And see Joan about the conceptual image.
I have ideas for the conceptual, thanks to my family yesterday. Which is good, because I just can't do conceptual to save my life. I'm a very straight-forward person unless I'm doing dream symbols or tarot readings. Oh, and palmistry. But if it's not astrological/spiritualistic, I'm screwed. So out of every image, this is the hardest for me. So I really gotta see Joan first this time around. But I might do "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down" or "Don't burn a candle at both ends". Either should be fairly easy to do. But I'm not thinking on that right now.
Right now I'm watching the sky get pitch black outside... and panicking a bit. I knew it was gonna be bad when I crested the peak elevation on I90E, and saw the haze on the mountains below me... and I love storms... but there's a wind warning with this. And I can't handle the wind. Which... is picking up something awful as I type this. Wind and I just don't get along ever since the tornado scare back when I was nine. I will NEVER forget that. In under a half an hour I moved all my possessions from my bedroom upstairs down to the basement, while crying, and puked all over the kitchen floor in fear. And um... I think I'm gonna go freak out now...
OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO REALLY FREAK OUT. *flailspazrunhide*
I have ideas for the conceptual, thanks to my family yesterday. Which is good, because I just can't do conceptual to save my life. I'm a very straight-forward person unless I'm doing dream symbols or tarot readings. Oh, and palmistry. But if it's not astrological/spiritualistic, I'm screwed. So out of every image, this is the hardest for me. So I really gotta see Joan first this time around. But I might do "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down" or "Don't burn a candle at both ends". Either should be fairly easy to do. But I'm not thinking on that right now.
Right now I'm watching the sky get pitch black outside... and panicking a bit. I knew it was gonna be bad when I crested the peak elevation on I90E, and saw the haze on the mountains below me... and I love storms... but there's a wind warning with this. And I can't handle the wind. Which... is picking up something awful as I type this. Wind and I just don't get along ever since the tornado scare back when I was nine. I will NEVER forget that. In under a half an hour I moved all my possessions from my bedroom upstairs down to the basement, while crying, and puked all over the kitchen floor in fear. And um... I think I'm gonna go freak out now...
OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO REALLY FREAK OUT. *flailspazrunhide*
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Diiiiizzy. @_@;;
So today I was up by 11am and re-shot my family portrait in the home. So that is done. I wasn't able to reshoot my couple, so I'm just going to fix the tones. Thankfully, that is an option on my list. I also went and visited with my Dad's side of the family for Father's Day. Had a nice dinner and long chats with the family. Now see, I was supposed to come home and shoot stuff after that, but instead I had to lay down. Why? Because I got out of the car and almost fell over. I've been dizzy since 3pm, but it just really hit hard around 5pm. I thought it was hunger at first, but then I ate dinner. And I'd go for dehydration, but I've had something to drink (not liquor you jokers out there lol) in my hand/next to me at all times. So it can't be that. And after a two hour nap, I was still feeling crappy, so I don't even know that it's lack of sleep. It is better now that I napped though, not by much sadly, but enough that I was able to retouch my architectural shot that I did yesterday. That finally decided it would be able to open. Oi. Maybe the dizziness is from stress, is that possible? I think it is... It's either that, or a form of heat poisoning, or a bug. Bleh. All I'm gearing for right now, is being able to drive back tomorrow morning. I'm aiming for 10am as my leaving time, so that I have the afternoon to shoot, but if I'm still dizzy I won't do it. God I hate this. -_-;; I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE SICK! D:
Saturday, June 14, 2008
An Early Graduation Gift
My parents got me an early graduation gift that has me PSYCHED. They got me the Nikon D200, along with the 17-110mm lens and 70-300mm lens special from Adorama that I wanted. Plus a set of four filters (protecting, enhancing, warming, and polarizer), an extra protection filter, a cleaning kit, an extra battery, and a camera bag. O_O My parents are amazing. I couldn't have asked for better. It is my baby. <3
And for all you B+H Photo fans, my Mom emailed them asking if they could beat Adorama's prices and offers, and they couldn't. So if you're looking for a bit more of a deal, Adorama is the place to go, I swear.
In fact, that reminds me. I have to go jump on their 4gb Sandisk CF cards for under $40 special... >.> *dashes off*
And for all you B+H Photo fans, my Mom emailed them asking if they could beat Adorama's prices and offers, and they couldn't. So if you're looking for a bit more of a deal, Adorama is the place to go, I swear.
In fact, that reminds me. I have to go jump on their 4gb Sandisk CF cards for under $40 special... >.> *dashes off*
Re-review
Okay, so I have to do re-review. I was at Hallmark until 8pm because of it, but I'm not going into those details right now because it's hot and I can't be bothered. Anyways, I'm back in NY, and just got back from shooting my architecture over. So that's one down.
On the agenda to reshoot I also have:
-In Home Family
-Environmental Still Life (can't prove it's not in studio)
-Conceptual (I'm sol on ideas... >.<)
-Metal (lit it wrong)
-Pet+Owner (my sister screwed me over again)
-Two personal submissions (gonna do uranium glass for one)
-Couple if possible
So I have a lot to do, but I know I can get it done. I already got one down. And I'm knocking as many off while I'm here at home as I can. The majority of it is simply a bit more retouching and recropping. So I'm feeling confident that I'll get it done.
On a side note, I found our Rich Barnes reads my blog since he asked about the bat. Anyone else that's wondering, I opened the top part of my window without a screen, locked myself in my bedroom, and when I went out a few hours later he was gone. Guess his bat friends called him outside or something. Whatever it was, I'm glad, but I still watch the ceilings for more of them. Ugh. And I like bats too, just... when they're outside. >.<;
But, Rich told me not to be blogging since I had so much work to do. Which... means I had to, of course. Hehe. Nah, I probably wouldn't have if I wasn't on some down time while my brother showers for pet+owner. Since my sister decided that the movies with the boyfriend are more important, she's no longer a viable model. So my brother and his rabbit are going to sit for me. He just needs a shower really bad. Silly boys playing in the dirt. xD
On the agenda to reshoot I also have:
-In Home Family
-Environmental Still Life (can't prove it's not in studio)
-Conceptual (I'm sol on ideas... >.<)
-Metal (lit it wrong)
-Pet+Owner (my sister screwed me over again)
-Two personal submissions (gonna do uranium glass for one)
-Couple if possible
So I have a lot to do, but I know I can get it done. I already got one down. And I'm knocking as many off while I'm here at home as I can. The majority of it is simply a bit more retouching and recropping. So I'm feeling confident that I'll get it done.
On a side note, I found our Rich Barnes reads my blog since he asked about the bat. Anyone else that's wondering, I opened the top part of my window without a screen, locked myself in my bedroom, and when I went out a few hours later he was gone. Guess his bat friends called him outside or something. Whatever it was, I'm glad, but I still watch the ceilings for more of them. Ugh. And I like bats too, just... when they're outside. >.<;
But, Rich told me not to be blogging since I had so much work to do. Which... means I had to, of course. Hehe. Nah, I probably wouldn't have if I wasn't on some down time while my brother showers for pet+owner. Since my sister decided that the movies with the boyfriend are more important, she's no longer a viable model. So my brother and his rabbit are going to sit for me. He just needs a shower really bad. Silly boys playing in the dirt. xD
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Dear Andrew
So I received a comment from Andrew, asking if I was going to post my overall experience on here when this is over. The answer is yes, when it's done I will post my overall experience. I will be talking about the ins and outs, and what I found good and bad here. I'll give a brief insight as to my stay in MA, and about the living situation I had (since it hasn't been too good). I'll also be sharing my thoughts and feelings on the instructors here. But to save myself the trouble of making a mistake before it's all over, I'm waiting for after graduation to comment on all this stuff. Plus, that will probably be a good way to round out this blog before creating a new one for the journey after Hallmark.
Thank you so much for reading, and gaining insight from it. If you do have questions, or wish to talk, my contact information is on here. I'm always willing to field any questions you might have for a current student. Just drop me a line in my inbox. :)
Thank you so much for reading, and gaining insight from it. If you do have questions, or wish to talk, my contact information is on here. I'm always willing to field any questions you might have for a current student. Just drop me a line in my inbox. :)
Sunday, June 8, 2008
I WANT OUT! D: BAT!
THERE IS A FUCKING BAT IN MY APARTMENT! And the worst part? NO ONE WILL COME TO HELP! *cries*
Seriously, I have no fear of bats... IN THE WILD. But in my apartment? I WANT NO PART OF THAT. D:
So I called 911. This was my conversation...
911: 911, what's your emergency?
Me: There's a bat in my apartment, I need animal control.
911: I'm sorry ma'am, this line is for emergencies only, you'll have to call them yourself.
Me: I don't have a number, could you at least give me that?
911: 772-2779
Me: 7-7-
911: Please hurry up ma'am, this line is for emergencies.
And after repeating it back she hung up on me. HOW AM I NOT AN EMERGENCY!? IS THIS COMMON IN MASSACHUSETTS!?
So I call that number... and I get voice mail. No one is in.
So I'm telling my Mom, and she calls Greenfield Police. Who tell her there's nothing they can do, and directed her to another animal control place...
...Who told my mother to contact someone private, they don't operate that late.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
So upstairs I went to get Celia, who came downstairs with me... and we tried to catch it ourselves. It was hanging on the draperies in the living room, and so we tried to press it against the window into a tupperware container... but that failed. And now it's on the woodwork in my kitchen. We can't get it. And what if it's rabid? Or diseased? I really don't want to be attacked because we were aggressive towards it. I know that bats won't actively attack a human, but self defense is a strange slave driver...
So I'm holed up in my bedroom. I have a door out in here, and a fan, clothes... pretty much the basics. If I want to pee though... I have to go through the kitchen. Hopefully I'll be okay... but that just creeps me out. D:
Seriously though, why won't anyone come out to help me? No one said animals were convenient! Especially wild ones! And how did it get in here? All my windows have screens, and the chimney flute is blocked off, completely. Like... there is no visible way that I can see...
So yeah, I'm holed up in my bedroom with nothing but a sock holding that door shut because it doesn't latch any other way, a bat is making its home in my kitchen, I have to pretty much freak out to try and go to the bathroom, and the heat is deadly. Having the door open helped because the air could flow better... great.
I cannot wait to get the hell out of here. Seriously, the 20th cannot come FAST ENOUGH.
And no, can't call the relator. She can't even replace a bulb in the public hallway, you think she's going to come out to catch a bat? Please. But that's another matter, one Celia and I are taking up with Tammy tomorrow because we both have had a very negative experience with Susan. Not getting into it now.
So if anyone is reading this... HELP. If you can. I've been at this since 10pm... ;_;
Seriously, I have no fear of bats... IN THE WILD. But in my apartment? I WANT NO PART OF THAT. D:
So I called 911. This was my conversation...
911: 911, what's your emergency?
Me: There's a bat in my apartment, I need animal control.
911: I'm sorry ma'am, this line is for emergencies only, you'll have to call them yourself.
Me: I don't have a number, could you at least give me that?
911: 772-2779
Me: 7-7-
911: Please hurry up ma'am, this line is for emergencies.
And after repeating it back she hung up on me. HOW AM I NOT AN EMERGENCY!? IS THIS COMMON IN MASSACHUSETTS!?
So I call that number... and I get voice mail. No one is in.
So I'm telling my Mom, and she calls Greenfield Police. Who tell her there's nothing they can do, and directed her to another animal control place...
...Who told my mother to contact someone private, they don't operate that late.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
So upstairs I went to get Celia, who came downstairs with me... and we tried to catch it ourselves. It was hanging on the draperies in the living room, and so we tried to press it against the window into a tupperware container... but that failed. And now it's on the woodwork in my kitchen. We can't get it. And what if it's rabid? Or diseased? I really don't want to be attacked because we were aggressive towards it. I know that bats won't actively attack a human, but self defense is a strange slave driver...
So I'm holed up in my bedroom. I have a door out in here, and a fan, clothes... pretty much the basics. If I want to pee though... I have to go through the kitchen. Hopefully I'll be okay... but that just creeps me out. D:
Seriously though, why won't anyone come out to help me? No one said animals were convenient! Especially wild ones! And how did it get in here? All my windows have screens, and the chimney flute is blocked off, completely. Like... there is no visible way that I can see...
So yeah, I'm holed up in my bedroom with nothing but a sock holding that door shut because it doesn't latch any other way, a bat is making its home in my kitchen, I have to pretty much freak out to try and go to the bathroom, and the heat is deadly. Having the door open helped because the air could flow better... great.
I cannot wait to get the hell out of here. Seriously, the 20th cannot come FAST ENOUGH.
And no, can't call the relator. She can't even replace a bulb in the public hallway, you think she's going to come out to catch a bat? Please. But that's another matter, one Celia and I are taking up with Tammy tomorrow because we both have had a very negative experience with Susan. Not getting into it now.
So if anyone is reading this... HELP. If you can. I've been at this since 10pm... ;_;
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Wanna Race?
So I had to go into Saratoga today to pick some stuff up, and on my way back the most epic thing happened. I thought I was going to have to pull over I was laughing so hard.
What you have to understand, is that on route 50 (which you travel to get where I was going) there is this line of lights. Like... there are at least 7 of them. On the way back, the last one before you can get onto Broadway has signals to go straight, right, or left.
So here I am , starting to slow down to come to a stop at the light before last, where I need to go straight and get off of the main road to head home. It's heavy traffic, and hard to merge and move. I'm looking at my surroundings, seeing what's near, and to my left in the other lane comes this car that would have been nice, had it not looked like the boys inside of it beat it to death with a rubber mallet. This car had more dents in it than the moon has craters, I swear. It was a royal shit box. But they must have been proud of it the way they drove.
Anyways, so there they are, coming up beside me. The next thing I see are windows going down. Yeah, you KNOW somethings up. I ended up ahead of them by a bit because of how traffic was flowing, but then they were beside me again, revving their engine as if they were driving a Corvette or something. By now I've turned down my music and am laughing. Though to them I probably looked like I was grinning, which I was doing that too.
They're in that car, hollering out cat calls and asking for my phone number. You have GOT to be kidding me. Amusing, funny, but definitely not a turn on. At all. But I kept glancing over at them, and then they start revving the engine more. And creeping up past me and hanging back. Ya know, giving all the signals that they want to race. In heavy downtown traffic. Now, I know guys don't always use their brains, but this is ridiculous.
So of course I humoured them. And there was only one reason why I did, and that was that the motorcyclists merged into the left lane so that they could take the left onto Broadway, and I could move forward. So I tapped the gas peddle a bit harder than normal, gave the engine a little rev, and pulled forward. They tried to keep pace, but alas, I didn't have a car in front of me, and they did.
That's about when I went through the light off of the main road, and headed for home. Kept tabs in my rear-view though in case they decided they wanted to follow me. They didn't, thank goodness. I had to go to Stewarts and pick up milk anyways, but having to stop at a public place to call Dad and the police because I'm being tailed isn't my idea of a good day.
Still, it was pretty epic. And it'll make for a good conversation piece. Idiots. x'D
What you have to understand, is that on route 50 (which you travel to get where I was going) there is this line of lights. Like... there are at least 7 of them. On the way back, the last one before you can get onto Broadway has signals to go straight, right, or left.
So here I am , starting to slow down to come to a stop at the light before last, where I need to go straight and get off of the main road to head home. It's heavy traffic, and hard to merge and move. I'm looking at my surroundings, seeing what's near, and to my left in the other lane comes this car that would have been nice, had it not looked like the boys inside of it beat it to death with a rubber mallet. This car had more dents in it than the moon has craters, I swear. It was a royal shit box. But they must have been proud of it the way they drove.
Anyways, so there they are, coming up beside me. The next thing I see are windows going down. Yeah, you KNOW somethings up. I ended up ahead of them by a bit because of how traffic was flowing, but then they were beside me again, revving their engine as if they were driving a Corvette or something. By now I've turned down my music and am laughing. Though to them I probably looked like I was grinning, which I was doing that too.
They're in that car, hollering out cat calls and asking for my phone number. You have GOT to be kidding me. Amusing, funny, but definitely not a turn on. At all. But I kept glancing over at them, and then they start revving the engine more. And creeping up past me and hanging back. Ya know, giving all the signals that they want to race. In heavy downtown traffic. Now, I know guys don't always use their brains, but this is ridiculous.
So of course I humoured them. And there was only one reason why I did, and that was that the motorcyclists merged into the left lane so that they could take the left onto Broadway, and I could move forward. So I tapped the gas peddle a bit harder than normal, gave the engine a little rev, and pulled forward. They tried to keep pace, but alas, I didn't have a car in front of me, and they did.
That's about when I went through the light off of the main road, and headed for home. Kept tabs in my rear-view though in case they decided they wanted to follow me. They didn't, thank goodness. I had to go to Stewarts and pick up milk anyways, but having to stop at a public place to call Dad and the police because I'm being tailed isn't my idea of a good day.
Still, it was pretty epic. And it'll make for a good conversation piece. Idiots. x'D
Friday, June 6, 2008
It's Like the World is Spinning
So, I've got a bit of an update for today.
First off, my little cousin is home and doing well.
Second, the bunny died.
Those two don't really need anything more in depth.
Then there's my stomach, that has been bothering me since Wednesday evening. Ugh. Woke up sick with it the past two days, but I think I'm through the worst of it. What was rotten was my leg acting up with the rotten humid weather. Chopping it off seemed like a great idea to get away from the pain. It was severe. >.<
Sunday I have the wedding to do in CT, and I am SUPER EXCITED! Not just for the wedding, but because after it I am going to meet a friend who I met online. We're meeting up in a Barnes and Noble shop, so it's all good. Always much safer when you meet in a public place, yah? Rachael is coming with me as my assistant too, so that'll be fun.
Tomorrow I will get back into MA, and Rachael is spending the night. We're going to watch Azumanga Daioh and make clay polymer beads. Like... I want to make the beads now, but I promised I'd wait and do it with her. x'D We're soooo going to need a rolling pin, because I don't have the clay press thing. ^^;
I'm also going to finish up the pendents I made for friends online, and ship them out. Just gotta add the sealant and attach the hardware. :3 Soooo close. I still have a few to make, but I'm waiting on designs.
Then there is the fact that I am packing and returning home to NY. So my whole apartment has to come back. Dad and I might have to make another trip out after graduation, but it won't be too bad. Two and a half hours is actually a really simple drive to me now. I think I've come to ADORE traveling. :D
The biggest news though, which I found out about this morning via email, is that Paul Bissex was in an accident earlier this week, and is in serious condition. He's one of our instructors at Hallmark, so we're all wishing him well and hoping he gets better. I bet things are a bit more somber there, or at least were, for a while. I'll know better on Monday when I'm back. I really hope he pulls through it okay. There is a blog set up about it, but I'll spare the link this time. So I'll be checking that daily to keep up-to-date with what's happening with Paul.
Other than that stuff... life is peaceful? I have one more update, but that deserves its own post because... well... it was epic. x'D
First off, my little cousin is home and doing well.
Second, the bunny died.
Those two don't really need anything more in depth.
Then there's my stomach, that has been bothering me since Wednesday evening. Ugh. Woke up sick with it the past two days, but I think I'm through the worst of it. What was rotten was my leg acting up with the rotten humid weather. Chopping it off seemed like a great idea to get away from the pain. It was severe. >.<
Sunday I have the wedding to do in CT, and I am SUPER EXCITED! Not just for the wedding, but because after it I am going to meet a friend who I met online. We're meeting up in a Barnes and Noble shop, so it's all good. Always much safer when you meet in a public place, yah? Rachael is coming with me as my assistant too, so that'll be fun.
Tomorrow I will get back into MA, and Rachael is spending the night. We're going to watch Azumanga Daioh and make clay polymer beads. Like... I want to make the beads now, but I promised I'd wait and do it with her. x'D We're soooo going to need a rolling pin, because I don't have the clay press thing. ^^;
I'm also going to finish up the pendents I made for friends online, and ship them out. Just gotta add the sealant and attach the hardware. :3 Soooo close. I still have a few to make, but I'm waiting on designs.
Then there is the fact that I am packing and returning home to NY. So my whole apartment has to come back. Dad and I might have to make another trip out after graduation, but it won't be too bad. Two and a half hours is actually a really simple drive to me now. I think I've come to ADORE traveling. :D
The biggest news though, which I found out about this morning via email, is that Paul Bissex was in an accident earlier this week, and is in serious condition. He's one of our instructors at Hallmark, so we're all wishing him well and hoping he gets better. I bet things are a bit more somber there, or at least were, for a while. I'll know better on Monday when I'm back. I really hope he pulls through it okay. There is a blog set up about it, but I'll spare the link this time. So I'll be checking that daily to keep up-to-date with what's happening with Paul.
Other than that stuff... life is peaceful? I have one more update, but that deserves its own post because... well... it was epic. x'D
Things to do, Things to do
Why am I up late you might ask? Well, I'm providing a listening ear to a friend in need. And then I'll get to bed, only to wake up, try to find some inspiration to shoot, go pick up my pills so I don't get super depressed and suicidal again, cash my expense check, run to Saratoga and pick up some needed supplies, go to the post office... yeah, gonna be a bit busy. ^^; I might have to do the post office Saturday though. Either in NY or MA. Depends on how early I head back. But tomorrow night I definitely can't stay up this late. Heeeeell no. That'd be suicide for driving back!
And the big thing I need to do: CLEAN MY ROOM. Like, it's good as it is for living in, but I need to clean it so I have space to bring my stuff back and unpack. And I feel really guilty for leaving MA, because I made a close friend and leaving her really sucks. Like... a lot. v_v; But, can't financially stay in MA, and I'm also thinking of continuing my education as it is.
Hallmark is great and all, but I feel like they've only scratched the surface, business wise, and since I know I'm a budding entrepreneur (and a control freak), I want to go for business. Probably a smart decision. And I already have three credits for it from HS, thanks to College in the Classroom. Actually, from that I have at least six college credits that transfer to a TON of colleges. So that's a big plus to me!
What is nice about attending Hallmark first though, is that I won't have to take the bullshit courses, aka general studies. So I can get to the meat and potatoes and skip the gravy, ya know? I always hated gravy, too... >.> ANYWAYS! So I'm really considering college afterwards. And since I'll be doing that, I also thought about taking up languages again. I hated Spanish while I was in High School, and now I miss it. A lot. So I'm putting serious thought into this.
Rachael tells me that it's a lot more debt, but I don't mind. Because I know all this will help me in the end, so it's worth it. Sure, I'll have to pay it back, but education is priceless. I value what I learn a lot. And I totally covet information. Hang around me enough and you find that I ask a lot of questions. Too many, probably.
Maybe not in class, because I'm busy retaining, but afterwards watch out.
Anyways, I gotta head out. Lots to do, very little time to do it in.
And the big thing I need to do: CLEAN MY ROOM. Like, it's good as it is for living in, but I need to clean it so I have space to bring my stuff back and unpack. And I feel really guilty for leaving MA, because I made a close friend and leaving her really sucks. Like... a lot. v_v; But, can't financially stay in MA, and I'm also thinking of continuing my education as it is.
Hallmark is great and all, but I feel like they've only scratched the surface, business wise, and since I know I'm a budding entrepreneur (and a control freak), I want to go for business. Probably a smart decision. And I already have three credits for it from HS, thanks to College in the Classroom. Actually, from that I have at least six college credits that transfer to a TON of colleges. So that's a big plus to me!
What is nice about attending Hallmark first though, is that I won't have to take the bullshit courses, aka general studies. So I can get to the meat and potatoes and skip the gravy, ya know? I always hated gravy, too... >.> ANYWAYS! So I'm really considering college afterwards. And since I'll be doing that, I also thought about taking up languages again. I hated Spanish while I was in High School, and now I miss it. A lot. So I'm putting serious thought into this.
Rachael tells me that it's a lot more debt, but I don't mind. Because I know all this will help me in the end, so it's worth it. Sure, I'll have to pay it back, but education is priceless. I value what I learn a lot. And I totally covet information. Hang around me enough and you find that I ask a lot of questions. Too many, probably.
Maybe not in class, because I'm busy retaining, but afterwards watch out.
Anyways, I gotta head out. Lots to do, very little time to do it in.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Really does feel like retrograde...
So I really do feel like I'm in retrograde. Got home in NY, and within an hour the baby bunny was dead. Poor little thing. I also cannot keep my stomach in order, and my emotionalness is just... all over the place.
Before I move on though, retrograde is an astrological term for when your planetary movement causes you to have a lot of bad luck. During this time you want to be careful because Murphy's Law likes to bear its ugly head three times as often, and things just tend to go wrong in general. As for how long it lasts, that depends on the planet. Mine's Venus, so it won't last long. I just can't say exactly when at the moment because the information on that is back in MA. x'D
But yeah, bad luck seems to be following me around. Which sucks. And to top it off, I think my period may be coming, which would explain a lot of things. Like my anger at the judges, and the mood swings, and depression with the pills... and the back pain, and some stomach issues, and nausea when eating, the irritableness, and all my other aches. PMS tends to just cause me issues after all. So... maybe. I don't know.
What I do know, is that it sucks. >.<
In other news, my cousin's surgery went well, and they're keeping him overnight to observe. Depending on his pain levels, he may or may not have to stay another five days. The doctor will know better tomorrow.
And in other other news... I'm going to attempt to pick up Japanese again. Self taught. Oh god... @w@;;;
Before I move on though, retrograde is an astrological term for when your planetary movement causes you to have a lot of bad luck. During this time you want to be careful because Murphy's Law likes to bear its ugly head three times as often, and things just tend to go wrong in general. As for how long it lasts, that depends on the planet. Mine's Venus, so it won't last long. I just can't say exactly when at the moment because the information on that is back in MA. x'D
But yeah, bad luck seems to be following me around. Which sucks. And to top it off, I think my period may be coming, which would explain a lot of things. Like my anger at the judges, and the mood swings, and depression with the pills... and the back pain, and some stomach issues, and nausea when eating, the irritableness, and all my other aches. PMS tends to just cause me issues after all. So... maybe. I don't know.
What I do know, is that it sucks. >.<
In other news, my cousin's surgery went well, and they're keeping him overnight to observe. Depending on his pain levels, he may or may not have to stay another five days. The doctor will know better tomorrow.
And in other other news... I'm going to attempt to pick up Japanese again. Self taught. Oh god... @w@;;;
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Annnnnd..... Back to NY
Well, I'm off to NY again today. Got family in the hospital that I'm worried about, and just generally need to get out of MA so I can fully relax. Get over the failure thing. And maybe do some shooting. No... definitely do some shooting. But the big thing is the hospital bit.
Granted, it's not immediate family, it's a cousin. But he's 7 years old and broke his thigh so bad he's in surgery right now to have temporary pins put in it so it can heal. I guess last night he was in so much pain he wouldn't even move the other leg. I've always been pretty close to that part of my family, so I feel like I need to be there. It's bad enough that I'm bugging my mom A LOT about how he's doing and what's going on. I think she's sick of me asking... >.>;;
On the cuter side, my one cat Floyd brought a baby bunny home to us last night, alive. So I've heard its been living in my bedroom where it's safe, and they've been feeding it milk. Mom says it's no bigger then a tennis ball. Super cute.
Other than that though my life has been fairly docile. I'll be back to MA on either Friday or Saturday, because I have a wedding to do in CT Sunday. Nothing big though, they just want formals. Easy wedding, for sure. Rachael is coming with me as my assistant. Super cool. :D
That's pretty much it. I'm off to go pack as much as I can into crates and boxes. It's that time of the year where I'm taking stuff home.
Granted, it's not immediate family, it's a cousin. But he's 7 years old and broke his thigh so bad he's in surgery right now to have temporary pins put in it so it can heal. I guess last night he was in so much pain he wouldn't even move the other leg. I've always been pretty close to that part of my family, so I feel like I need to be there. It's bad enough that I'm bugging my mom A LOT about how he's doing and what's going on. I think she's sick of me asking... >.>;;
On the cuter side, my one cat Floyd brought a baby bunny home to us last night, alive. So I've heard its been living in my bedroom where it's safe, and they've been feeding it milk. Mom says it's no bigger then a tennis ball. Super cute.
Other than that though my life has been fairly docile. I'll be back to MA on either Friday or Saturday, because I have a wedding to do in CT Sunday. Nothing big though, they just want formals. Easy wedding, for sure. Rachael is coming with me as my assistant. Super cool. :D
That's pretty much it. I'm off to go pack as much as I can into crates and boxes. It's that time of the year where I'm taking stuff home.
My Stomach can go to Hell =_=;;
My stomach needs to go to Hell. Seriously. It's acting up AGAIN and pissing me off. I was sick all yesterday, isn't that enough? Of course, I'm in retrograde, so Murphy's Law and bad luck are going to be my best friends for about a month. Bleh. But seriously, I just want to sleep, and be healthy. Oi... damn stomach.
It's really bad too. My stomach is seriously my biggest fear. I'm always afraid I'll get sick, no matter where I go, what I'm doing, or how many times I've done it before. Coming to Hallmark was a personal accomplishment against my stomach, to prove I could do it.
My stomach makes me afraid to get a job, too. It played a big part in me wanting to be an entrepreneur because that way I could more flexibly work around it without the fear of getting fired. Sure, there's the threat of bankruptcy, but that doesn't scare me as much as being fired and what have you. I have more control over that.
Because of this stomach of mine, I skip out on things that could be fun. I've never been on a big school trip to places like Boston or NYC because of it. That and severe crowd claustrophobia, but still. My fear of being sick on these trips is that great. And sometimes just the fear itself can trigger my stomach. Total catch 22.
I'm sure some of you think I'm exaggerating on how bad it is, too. But I have IBS, which is a form of Fibromyalgia. Anyone with fibro can understand how painful IBS is, because they've probably experienced it. But IBS isn't something easy to live with.
Let me try to describe...
Basically, it feels like someone has poured corrosive acid all over your insides. They're on fire from a nuclear explosion. It's like your intestines are squeezing to strangle your spine, and somehow your lungs too. You're doubled over in so much pain that standing or sitting straight is literally impossible. Sometimes you cannot breathe because the pain is that intense. With it can come severe shaking that you can't stop. Almost like selective seizures to parts of your body. You don't know whether you want to cry, or scream, or moan in agony. After a while you learn to just be silent, because none of those things help. Quite often you also get severe nausea with all this, and if you attempt to take medication, you'll probably vomit. You can't usually eat or drink while it's occurring, because it tends to just make it worse. And it won't go away until there is nothing left in your system to expel. IBS is when the intestinal rhythm screws up, like two waves on the ocean crashing into each other. It makes your intestinal track try to turn itself inside-out.
What triggers it? Certain food, powerful emotions that play on your nerves, and the weather sometimes.
There are really no surefire meds for it either. There are some anti spasmatics out there that you can take, but they don't always work. And once the attack starts, they're pretty much useless. Everyone with it finds a different way of coping, but the big thing is to get your body to relax. Which is far easier said than done.
For me, I have to cool off, and read. Sometimes rock back and forth. My hands will shake, and my knees as well. In fact my knees tend to get bruised because they bang against each other and I don't notice at the time. Other pain does help distract me though, so that might be why they do it. But I just have to do this until I literally pass out from exhaustion. Sometimes, like right now, I can work on the computer. When it's not super bad. If I'm in public and can't do these things, then you might see me digging my nails into my skin, be it my palms or upper arms. I also grind my teeth, and start taking longer, deeper breathes. And I may or may not try to curl up.
What sucks the most though, is every time I vomit, how I am able to deal with it effectively seems to change. A couple years back I had to be sitting up. Now my body demands to be laying down. There was a time I had to completely freeze myself, now it's just my upper half. And so on.
But I digress, out of every challenge thrown at me in Hallmark, my IBS, my own personal demon, is the worst of them. Out of everything, it screws up more plans than I care to remember.
And let me tell ya, feeling like you're dying every time it hits ya, blows. You better believe it's caused me to leave class before, or not be able to go. It's highly distracting and unnerving.
Why am I telling you this? Because I tend to mention it a lot, and complain of it, and there are a lot of people who tell me to just deal. So here it is the full story as best I can. And a tiny bit of it is probably because it's 4:44am and the IBS is keeping me awake. I do randomly dumb things when overly tired. God help whoever it is I end up living with in the distant future, I'm gonna be a handful at times like these. @_@;;
It's really bad too. My stomach is seriously my biggest fear. I'm always afraid I'll get sick, no matter where I go, what I'm doing, or how many times I've done it before. Coming to Hallmark was a personal accomplishment against my stomach, to prove I could do it.
My stomach makes me afraid to get a job, too. It played a big part in me wanting to be an entrepreneur because that way I could more flexibly work around it without the fear of getting fired. Sure, there's the threat of bankruptcy, but that doesn't scare me as much as being fired and what have you. I have more control over that.
Because of this stomach of mine, I skip out on things that could be fun. I've never been on a big school trip to places like Boston or NYC because of it. That and severe crowd claustrophobia, but still. My fear of being sick on these trips is that great. And sometimes just the fear itself can trigger my stomach. Total catch 22.
I'm sure some of you think I'm exaggerating on how bad it is, too. But I have IBS, which is a form of Fibromyalgia. Anyone with fibro can understand how painful IBS is, because they've probably experienced it. But IBS isn't something easy to live with.
Let me try to describe...
Basically, it feels like someone has poured corrosive acid all over your insides. They're on fire from a nuclear explosion. It's like your intestines are squeezing to strangle your spine, and somehow your lungs too. You're doubled over in so much pain that standing or sitting straight is literally impossible. Sometimes you cannot breathe because the pain is that intense. With it can come severe shaking that you can't stop. Almost like selective seizures to parts of your body. You don't know whether you want to cry, or scream, or moan in agony. After a while you learn to just be silent, because none of those things help. Quite often you also get severe nausea with all this, and if you attempt to take medication, you'll probably vomit. You can't usually eat or drink while it's occurring, because it tends to just make it worse. And it won't go away until there is nothing left in your system to expel. IBS is when the intestinal rhythm screws up, like two waves on the ocean crashing into each other. It makes your intestinal track try to turn itself inside-out.
What triggers it? Certain food, powerful emotions that play on your nerves, and the weather sometimes.
There are really no surefire meds for it either. There are some anti spasmatics out there that you can take, but they don't always work. And once the attack starts, they're pretty much useless. Everyone with it finds a different way of coping, but the big thing is to get your body to relax. Which is far easier said than done.
For me, I have to cool off, and read. Sometimes rock back and forth. My hands will shake, and my knees as well. In fact my knees tend to get bruised because they bang against each other and I don't notice at the time. Other pain does help distract me though, so that might be why they do it. But I just have to do this until I literally pass out from exhaustion. Sometimes, like right now, I can work on the computer. When it's not super bad. If I'm in public and can't do these things, then you might see me digging my nails into my skin, be it my palms or upper arms. I also grind my teeth, and start taking longer, deeper breathes. And I may or may not try to curl up.
What sucks the most though, is every time I vomit, how I am able to deal with it effectively seems to change. A couple years back I had to be sitting up. Now my body demands to be laying down. There was a time I had to completely freeze myself, now it's just my upper half. And so on.
But I digress, out of every challenge thrown at me in Hallmark, my IBS, my own personal demon, is the worst of them. Out of everything, it screws up more plans than I care to remember.
And let me tell ya, feeling like you're dying every time it hits ya, blows. You better believe it's caused me to leave class before, or not be able to go. It's highly distracting and unnerving.
Why am I telling you this? Because I tend to mention it a lot, and complain of it, and there are a lot of people who tell me to just deal. So here it is the full story as best I can. And a tiny bit of it is probably because it's 4:44am and the IBS is keeping me awake. I do randomly dumb things when overly tired. God help whoever it is I end up living with in the distant future, I'm gonna be a handful at times like these. @_@;;
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Screwy Scheduling
So I'm feeling a bit better after yesterday. Totally called in this morning though, because I was sick as a dog last night until the wee hours with my stomach. Emotions can effect me like that, yay IBS [/sarcasm]. :\ So it was like having the flu. And when I finally did get some sleep, it was restless. So I'm still very tired, but I can't just sleep all day so here I am, awake.
One thing that was nice to wake up to was an email from my HS art teacher, Miss. M. She gave me a different view on the failing, and made it out as an opportunity. And as much as I want to see it that way, and sometimes I can, I'm still far too bitter and grouchy for that. I'm going to blame my lack of experience for this one, because I've honestly only been out in the real world for a year at most. I have a lot of learning and growing to do still. But I'm sure there will come a day when I will look back on this and wonder why I didn't just take Miss. M's advice in the first place. Today just isn't that day. Still, it was kind of her to send me the email. :)
Onto the meat and potatoes of this entry though! Hallmark's screwy scheduling! Which is my current hate topic.
During the three days that we are being given time to work on fixing our portfolios in school, are three classes that I wanted to attend. Mind you, all classes are fairly optional, and I would think so especially when people will have a lot of work to do. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but this is what I figure. Those who were went to re-review will be working instead of in class, and those who passed go to class. Rather than more all nighters and pissy students... anyways...
So there are three classes. One I wanted to attend I don't mind being there. That'd be David Langley's class on lighting automobiles. I really am curious about this, and I want to attend, but now I don't know if I'll have time.
The two that piss me off for being in there though, are a class on marketing, and a class on advertising yourself. Both are lectures on being successful in those things, and are done by guests. To me, it would make more sense to have them over a couple of days during the review process so that everyone could attend, rather than during the week of re-review when those working might not get a chance. They seem rather important, more so than classes like Photography as a Witness and Interpreting Images. But that's just me.
I'm sure there's some reason behind it all, but I'm just irked. And it means that I'm going to be doing my damnedest to fix all my issues over that weekend so I don't have to miss them. I am SO GLAD that I have Lightroom and Photoshop on my laptop. Because I'm gonna need it.
Oh, and during that week as well, I WILL be shooting uranium glass in the CS. Because it's a personal goal of mine, and I'll be damned if I don't complete it.
I'm gonna go get some juice now, and hope it doesn't bother my stomach. Maybe some toast too. And then pass out again, because I'm still super tired.
One thing that was nice to wake up to was an email from my HS art teacher, Miss. M. She gave me a different view on the failing, and made it out as an opportunity. And as much as I want to see it that way, and sometimes I can, I'm still far too bitter and grouchy for that. I'm going to blame my lack of experience for this one, because I've honestly only been out in the real world for a year at most. I have a lot of learning and growing to do still. But I'm sure there will come a day when I will look back on this and wonder why I didn't just take Miss. M's advice in the first place. Today just isn't that day. Still, it was kind of her to send me the email. :)
Onto the meat and potatoes of this entry though! Hallmark's screwy scheduling! Which is my current hate topic.
During the three days that we are being given time to work on fixing our portfolios in school, are three classes that I wanted to attend. Mind you, all classes are fairly optional, and I would think so especially when people will have a lot of work to do. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but this is what I figure. Those who were went to re-review will be working instead of in class, and those who passed go to class. Rather than more all nighters and pissy students... anyways...
So there are three classes. One I wanted to attend I don't mind being there. That'd be David Langley's class on lighting automobiles. I really am curious about this, and I want to attend, but now I don't know if I'll have time.
The two that piss me off for being in there though, are a class on marketing, and a class on advertising yourself. Both are lectures on being successful in those things, and are done by guests. To me, it would make more sense to have them over a couple of days during the review process so that everyone could attend, rather than during the week of re-review when those working might not get a chance. They seem rather important, more so than classes like Photography as a Witness and Interpreting Images. But that's just me.
I'm sure there's some reason behind it all, but I'm just irked. And it means that I'm going to be doing my damnedest to fix all my issues over that weekend so I don't have to miss them. I am SO GLAD that I have Lightroom and Photoshop on my laptop. Because I'm gonna need it.
Oh, and during that week as well, I WILL be shooting uranium glass in the CS. Because it's a personal goal of mine, and I'll be damned if I don't complete it.
I'm gonna go get some juice now, and hope it doesn't bother my stomach. Maybe some toast too. And then pass out again, because I'm still super tired.
Portfolio Blank. Survey Says!
My portfolio for Hallmark failed. I have to go to re-review. Which means I get everything back on the 13th, including finding out exactly what has to be fixed, and have until the 19th to fix everything.
If you're curious, the whole final portfolio can be viewed here: CLICK
So, today was the day I had my Portfolio Review. 11:25am I see my work displayed on stage. I have my parents and Rachael with me. My parents left NY at 6am to be here for this, because Hallmark told them they couldn't make sure I went in the afternoon so that they didn't have to be quite so inconvenienced. That left my 17 year old sister and 13 year old brother to get themselves off to school this morning. Good job Hallmark.
So the judges look it over, and the teachers, and the guy can't figure out what he wants to show on my website, and then my name is called and we go to the stage. You know, to sit in front of your whole section, all eyes on you, to hear the verdict. I was already informed that there was an issue with my male. I clicked the wrong version to print, so this one wasn't fully grayscaled out to black and white. No biggie. Minor error. It's hard to tell anyways. How they did is beyond me. But anyways, regardless of if I passed or failed, that had to be fixed.
So there we are, and the portfolio is announced Not Accepted. And really, I was expecting it because I just seem to see things differently. Not only that, but I have a very simplistic style, and you don't see that often at Hallmark it feels like. And I also refused to become a similar photographer to what it felt like was wanted. Part of it though, I blame on the fact that I used to be a writer, before I ever picked up my first SLR camera. But most importantly, I've just never been fully good at anything. I thought I was at photography, but guess not. :\
So while it hurt to hear that, I half-knew it was coming. Sure, I hoped that it would be accepted, and I could finally fully relax, but it wasn't. Tony and George Rosa III were kind though, and offered words of encouragement. Which was nice, that helped. But the first person to speak to me about my portfolio was David Turner. I have come to the conclusion that I do not like this man.
Now, I was on the fence about him for a while. Sometimes he irritated me, sometimes he didn't. But it's decided, fully, I do not like him. And I lost some respect for Barbara Bordnick as well.
Anyways, David was the first one up to talk about my work. He had not ONE kind word to say. NOT ONE. He told me this was just no good, my lighting was wrong, and just had no appreciation for it or any of my reenactment stuff. When it came to my PR and ALT shots, he said that it was like we were trying on clothes, too simple, and he just didn't like it at all. He also didn't like my indoor family, which to be honest I knew was a weak image but I just could not get a family for the life of me, because of the harsh shadow from flash. I knew that was coming. Still though, he just rubbed me the wrong way. Told me that I had just scraped the basics, and it broke their hearts to fail me. That it was obvious I had attended class and knew what I was doing, but I just hadn't taken it that one step further to WOW them. Then he compared me to another student, as he spoke about my athlete. Told me that where as the other student took the time to drive alongside a motorcyclist and photograph, it looked like I just pulled the car around back and there was the neighbors or something. Well... YEAH! These photos are supposed to tell a story! But he told me I should have done it at the track. I'm sorry, but all the tracks this kid can race at are at least an hour away, and you aren't allowed to do photography before hand because of safety checks and stuff that go on, and afterwards that car will look like hell. This ain't Nascar folks. This is a sixteen year old kid who races on Saturday. He and his dad are team mates, and they work on the cars in their garage at home. They have no mechanics or anything like that, just good friends. He does homework and attends school like all other kids his age. Doesn't that make it appropriate to his location? Does that not tell a better story? Apparently small town life just isn't good enough for a hot shot NYC photographer who basically talks as if he IS the craft.
What made me want to laugh the most at David though, was that he asked when I had first picked up a camera. Told me that my point and shoot from fifth grade didn't count. And he had no comment when I told him it was 11th grade. That I was only nineteen.
But yes, David really, honestly and truly, made me feel that in order to make a good portfolio, I needed to have a ton of money. Because the guy he compared me to definitely had it. He was taking helicopters up and shooting the NYC skyline, Niagara Falls, and doing other such expensive things. And he was already an accomplished photographer before coming here, he just wanted the credentials. Don't compare me to someone like that! It's not fair, and it's not right.
Beth Reynolds was the next to give me a critique. And her's, while I still have a bit to say on it, I can live with. And there is a simple reason why: She took the time to give me some good with the bad. When it comes to critiquing, I have ALWAYS maintained that you cannot just say bad things, you need to have some positive, or it's just destructive. So I could take Beth's, and swallow it. She, unlike David, loved my ALT shot. She did make reference to my Family Portrait outdoors, and while she loved it, she told me I should have waited for the two boys to breathe and relax, that I had taken the picture a moment too soon. I kind of wanted to laugh, because those two boys were just... I don't know what. But that was the moment. Still, she did love the image, just had that minor critique, so I don't think that docked me all that much. She also wished that I had gotten my motocross image (not on here) after they had started, not at the anticipation of the start. So that's just a difference in opinions. Depends on what you see and how it makes you feel, really. Beth seemed to like my outdoor lighting as well, but she felt that some of them were too "hot", meaning over-lit. I did expect this, because even I could see it. That was about it though.
Barbara Bordnick was a great woman in my eyes when she first came here. Now I've lost a little respect for her. Simply because, like David, she really didn't offer me anything positive. She went out of her way to go on about skin because of the screwiness of the toning in my couple shot, which I knew could get me docked some. I have figured out how to fix it now, just wish I had for that. But what pissed me off, was she basically called them ugly. Told me I had put two people who didn't work in a pose meant for beautiful people. Well, if I didn't want to just jump up and strangle her... the two people in that portrait are two of my best friends. And they have one of the most beautiful sibling relationships I have EVER seen. EVER! The other big thing Barbara went on about, which Beth also mentioned but not in detail, was that the tie on my low-key male was odd. She wondered as to why he wasn't wearing clothes, and why we only put a tie on him. She just didn't get it at all, and, as a nude photographer she just didn't like it. Welcome to the style of Indie, Barbara. Yes, it's relatively new and unknown, but that's where I circulate. And he did have clothes on, we were just slowly stripping him. And then I decided he needed a tie. Because I think that men in a tie with no shirt on are sexy. So do a lot of people who see that image. Sue me? She also felt that the arms were too flabby in my digital alteration, but oh well. It honestly didn't bother me. I think the one kind thing she said was about my ALT shot, and that it was nice.
So yeah, nothing really useful from them. They gave me an idea, but not much. And pretty much no kind words, which is what pissed me off the most. That and being compared to someone else many years my senior. I guess they didn't go over my commercial stuff though because I was Portrait/Wedding emphasis. I wonder if it was even graded into my portfolio though, because while I had that inclination of failure, I still had hope that maybe, just maybe, I had enough strong pieces to pull me through.
Celia who went up right after me, also failed. Even though she had things make it through from Phase III, they still failed her. She was a mess, and ready to quit. Can't say as I blame her.
I really think, if anything, the review did nothing more than to destroy what confidence I had in my abilities as a photographer. I mean, I know I can get work back home, and do what I'd like, but without the confidence... it just feels empty.
I'm sorry I don't meet NYC standards? I'm sorry I come from a small little town no one has ever even heard of up in the Adirondack Mountains? I'm sorry I view things differently? Sorry that I used to be a writer, and that it influences my shots? Sorry that I don't want to conform to certain things? I'm sorry I'm not normal? Sorry that I tend to hang in obscure genres of life? Sorry that unlike many, I've only been shooting seriously for all of two or three years? I'm sorry my style is so simplistic?
I don't know what else to say. Just that I'm really upset, and really pissed off. I forced down some lunch with my family, called in sick to the second half, and after bringing home Rachael, cried myself into restless sleep for a few hours.
And I definitely dreamt of cutting. Even with my medication, I was that down. Didn't do it, knew better, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you're curious, the whole final portfolio can be viewed here: CLICK
So, today was the day I had my Portfolio Review. 11:25am I see my work displayed on stage. I have my parents and Rachael with me. My parents left NY at 6am to be here for this, because Hallmark told them they couldn't make sure I went in the afternoon so that they didn't have to be quite so inconvenienced. That left my 17 year old sister and 13 year old brother to get themselves off to school this morning. Good job Hallmark.
So the judges look it over, and the teachers, and the guy can't figure out what he wants to show on my website, and then my name is called and we go to the stage. You know, to sit in front of your whole section, all eyes on you, to hear the verdict. I was already informed that there was an issue with my male. I clicked the wrong version to print, so this one wasn't fully grayscaled out to black and white. No biggie. Minor error. It's hard to tell anyways. How they did is beyond me. But anyways, regardless of if I passed or failed, that had to be fixed.
So there we are, and the portfolio is announced Not Accepted. And really, I was expecting it because I just seem to see things differently. Not only that, but I have a very simplistic style, and you don't see that often at Hallmark it feels like. And I also refused to become a similar photographer to what it felt like was wanted. Part of it though, I blame on the fact that I used to be a writer, before I ever picked up my first SLR camera. But most importantly, I've just never been fully good at anything. I thought I was at photography, but guess not. :\
So while it hurt to hear that, I half-knew it was coming. Sure, I hoped that it would be accepted, and I could finally fully relax, but it wasn't. Tony and George Rosa III were kind though, and offered words of encouragement. Which was nice, that helped. But the first person to speak to me about my portfolio was David Turner. I have come to the conclusion that I do not like this man.
Now, I was on the fence about him for a while. Sometimes he irritated me, sometimes he didn't. But it's decided, fully, I do not like him. And I lost some respect for Barbara Bordnick as well.
Anyways, David was the first one up to talk about my work. He had not ONE kind word to say. NOT ONE. He told me this was just no good, my lighting was wrong, and just had no appreciation for it or any of my reenactment stuff. When it came to my PR and ALT shots, he said that it was like we were trying on clothes, too simple, and he just didn't like it at all. He also didn't like my indoor family, which to be honest I knew was a weak image but I just could not get a family for the life of me, because of the harsh shadow from flash. I knew that was coming. Still though, he just rubbed me the wrong way. Told me that I had just scraped the basics, and it broke their hearts to fail me. That it was obvious I had attended class and knew what I was doing, but I just hadn't taken it that one step further to WOW them. Then he compared me to another student, as he spoke about my athlete. Told me that where as the other student took the time to drive alongside a motorcyclist and photograph, it looked like I just pulled the car around back and there was the neighbors or something. Well... YEAH! These photos are supposed to tell a story! But he told me I should have done it at the track. I'm sorry, but all the tracks this kid can race at are at least an hour away, and you aren't allowed to do photography before hand because of safety checks and stuff that go on, and afterwards that car will look like hell. This ain't Nascar folks. This is a sixteen year old kid who races on Saturday. He and his dad are team mates, and they work on the cars in their garage at home. They have no mechanics or anything like that, just good friends. He does homework and attends school like all other kids his age. Doesn't that make it appropriate to his location? Does that not tell a better story? Apparently small town life just isn't good enough for a hot shot NYC photographer who basically talks as if he IS the craft.
What made me want to laugh the most at David though, was that he asked when I had first picked up a camera. Told me that my point and shoot from fifth grade didn't count. And he had no comment when I told him it was 11th grade. That I was only nineteen.
But yes, David really, honestly and truly, made me feel that in order to make a good portfolio, I needed to have a ton of money. Because the guy he compared me to definitely had it. He was taking helicopters up and shooting the NYC skyline, Niagara Falls, and doing other such expensive things. And he was already an accomplished photographer before coming here, he just wanted the credentials. Don't compare me to someone like that! It's not fair, and it's not right.
Beth Reynolds was the next to give me a critique. And her's, while I still have a bit to say on it, I can live with. And there is a simple reason why: She took the time to give me some good with the bad. When it comes to critiquing, I have ALWAYS maintained that you cannot just say bad things, you need to have some positive, or it's just destructive. So I could take Beth's, and swallow it. She, unlike David, loved my ALT shot. She did make reference to my Family Portrait outdoors, and while she loved it, she told me I should have waited for the two boys to breathe and relax, that I had taken the picture a moment too soon. I kind of wanted to laugh, because those two boys were just... I don't know what. But that was the moment. Still, she did love the image, just had that minor critique, so I don't think that docked me all that much. She also wished that I had gotten my motocross image (not on here) after they had started, not at the anticipation of the start. So that's just a difference in opinions. Depends on what you see and how it makes you feel, really. Beth seemed to like my outdoor lighting as well, but she felt that some of them were too "hot", meaning over-lit. I did expect this, because even I could see it. That was about it though.
Barbara Bordnick was a great woman in my eyes when she first came here. Now I've lost a little respect for her. Simply because, like David, she really didn't offer me anything positive. She went out of her way to go on about skin because of the screwiness of the toning in my couple shot, which I knew could get me docked some. I have figured out how to fix it now, just wish I had for that. But what pissed me off, was she basically called them ugly. Told me I had put two people who didn't work in a pose meant for beautiful people. Well, if I didn't want to just jump up and strangle her... the two people in that portrait are two of my best friends. And they have one of the most beautiful sibling relationships I have EVER seen. EVER! The other big thing Barbara went on about, which Beth also mentioned but not in detail, was that the tie on my low-key male was odd. She wondered as to why he wasn't wearing clothes, and why we only put a tie on him. She just didn't get it at all, and, as a nude photographer she just didn't like it. Welcome to the style of Indie, Barbara. Yes, it's relatively new and unknown, but that's where I circulate. And he did have clothes on, we were just slowly stripping him. And then I decided he needed a tie. Because I think that men in a tie with no shirt on are sexy. So do a lot of people who see that image. Sue me? She also felt that the arms were too flabby in my digital alteration, but oh well. It honestly didn't bother me. I think the one kind thing she said was about my ALT shot, and that it was nice.
So yeah, nothing really useful from them. They gave me an idea, but not much. And pretty much no kind words, which is what pissed me off the most. That and being compared to someone else many years my senior. I guess they didn't go over my commercial stuff though because I was Portrait/Wedding emphasis. I wonder if it was even graded into my portfolio though, because while I had that inclination of failure, I still had hope that maybe, just maybe, I had enough strong pieces to pull me through.
Celia who went up right after me, also failed. Even though she had things make it through from Phase III, they still failed her. She was a mess, and ready to quit. Can't say as I blame her.
I really think, if anything, the review did nothing more than to destroy what confidence I had in my abilities as a photographer. I mean, I know I can get work back home, and do what I'd like, but without the confidence... it just feels empty.
I'm sorry I don't meet NYC standards? I'm sorry I come from a small little town no one has ever even heard of up in the Adirondack Mountains? I'm sorry I view things differently? Sorry that I used to be a writer, and that it influences my shots? Sorry that I don't want to conform to certain things? I'm sorry I'm not normal? Sorry that I tend to hang in obscure genres of life? Sorry that unlike many, I've only been shooting seriously for all of two or three years? I'm sorry my style is so simplistic?
I don't know what else to say. Just that I'm really upset, and really pissed off. I forced down some lunch with my family, called in sick to the second half, and after bringing home Rachael, cried myself into restless sleep for a few hours.
And I definitely dreamt of cutting. Even with my medication, I was that down. Didn't do it, knew better, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Officially a Small Business Owner
It's official, I now own my very own small business, Photographic Phantasy. I got the DBA license and opening the business account over the past two days, and now I can legally do business within the United States of America. Not sure about internationally, but I don't know that I need to worry about that right now. xD All I do know, is that it feels pretty awesome to say that at the age of 19, I started my own business. Even if all I do is freelance for a while, it's a big accomplishment for me. Ever since seventh grade when we did the Pushcart Fair at my middle school, and learned about entrepreneurship hands on, I knew that I wanted to start my own business. And now, here I am, six years later and starting to fulfill that goal. What's most satisfying though, is that today (technically) is my brother's pushcart fair, and I get to attend it. And it will be necessary too, since the school is thinking to do away with it. Health people don't like it because for one day out of a whole year they can't regulate how much junk food is being sold at the school. They need to suck it up, this is a wonderful learning experience and the kids can later spend their profits (if they made any) on their trip to Boston in June. I skipped that trip, but let me tell ya, nothing feels better than to spend money you earned yourself. And these kids deserve that. So I can't wait to attend, and to tell those very teachers who guided me through the pushcart fair where I am now. It's going to be awesome. ^^
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Ahhh... Relaxation <3
So now that we're into reviews, I can relax for a bit. It's wonderful.
To start it off, I brought Rachael to the hospital to have some blood work done. That was an adventure in and of itself because she has a needle phobia that's only made worse by panic attacks and the fact that looking at blood makes her feel faint. Need I say more? But she got through it, and it's over, so I'm sure she's relieved.
I then spent the weekend with her, since her parents were away, and we had a blast. Played a lot of karaoke, watched the anime Ghost Stories (which is epically funny because of the satire), she helped me clean my apartment (why she offered I don't know >.<), and one night we went out to dinner because we were distracted by our anime, and totally forgot to go to Scotty's to get food (we wanted us some hamburgers) before it closed at 5pm. x'D So it was fun, and I kept her company and helped out a bit with the dogs so she wasn't alone. I spent the night over the weekend as well, which was fun.
After all that, I headed home to NY, which is where I am now. It's good to be back, and I'll be staying until either Thursday afternoon, or Friday morning. Not sure which. Probably Thursday afternoon though, so I can attempt to get my time set to the afternoon on Monday for my parents to be able to attend my review. I just don't know who exactly to go to. Probably George Rosa III. But I'm not going to think about that right now, because it makes me panic. I really don't want to end up in re-review, and everyone says I'll do fine, but it's still a nightmare I have. >.< Oy.
So here I am, at home, and relaxing. It's wonderful.
To start with, I made a mini-city. And everyone should visit once a day to gain me a big population. xD Click for my Mini-City!
And then I also went and gave my friend Brendan his birthday gift, which I made sure to wrap in newspaper and duct tape. xD It was an epic win when it took him 10 minutes to open it. Hehe. But I got him AIDS and Herpes, because while friends might hire you a hooker, real friends give you venereal diseases. ROFL But seriously, that's what I got him. You can find them on Giant Microbes. They're ADORABLE. <3
Tomorrow I gotta get my business license and account. And then I'm pretty much free Wednesday, and Thursday is my brother's pushcart fair at school, which I shall attend. I'm also going to go visit my high school during this time, and hook up with some friends. Yeah!
And then Friday I am going to prom with Rachael, and hopefully she can spend the night at the apartment so that her parents don't have to stay up late worried and stuff. Then I just gotta ask them if Rach might be able to assist me (paid, of course) at a wedding I'm doing on June 8th in Connecticut. They want exactly ten shots, the formals basically, so we won't be gone too long. But having help would be nice. And I'd definitely pay her for it. But I have time to ask on that one. ^^
So yes, my week is full of relaxation and wonderfulness. I am so glad to have the down time. Gonna retouch the extra photos I have, do some archiving, deliver prints, and be a bum. <3
To start it off, I brought Rachael to the hospital to have some blood work done. That was an adventure in and of itself because she has a needle phobia that's only made worse by panic attacks and the fact that looking at blood makes her feel faint. Need I say more? But she got through it, and it's over, so I'm sure she's relieved.
I then spent the weekend with her, since her parents were away, and we had a blast. Played a lot of karaoke, watched the anime Ghost Stories (which is epically funny because of the satire), she helped me clean my apartment (why she offered I don't know >.<), and one night we went out to dinner because we were distracted by our anime, and totally forgot to go to Scotty's to get food (we wanted us some hamburgers) before it closed at 5pm. x'D So it was fun, and I kept her company and helped out a bit with the dogs so she wasn't alone. I spent the night over the weekend as well, which was fun.
After all that, I headed home to NY, which is where I am now. It's good to be back, and I'll be staying until either Thursday afternoon, or Friday morning. Not sure which. Probably Thursday afternoon though, so I can attempt to get my time set to the afternoon on Monday for my parents to be able to attend my review. I just don't know who exactly to go to. Probably George Rosa III. But I'm not going to think about that right now, because it makes me panic. I really don't want to end up in re-review, and everyone says I'll do fine, but it's still a nightmare I have. >.< Oy.
So here I am, at home, and relaxing. It's wonderful.
To start with, I made a mini-city. And everyone should visit once a day to gain me a big population. xD Click for my Mini-City!
And then I also went and gave my friend Brendan his birthday gift, which I made sure to wrap in newspaper and duct tape. xD It was an epic win when it took him 10 minutes to open it. Hehe. But I got him AIDS and Herpes, because while friends might hire you a hooker, real friends give you venereal diseases. ROFL But seriously, that's what I got him. You can find them on Giant Microbes. They're ADORABLE. <3
Tomorrow I gotta get my business license and account. And then I'm pretty much free Wednesday, and Thursday is my brother's pushcart fair at school, which I shall attend. I'm also going to go visit my high school during this time, and hook up with some friends. Yeah!
And then Friday I am going to prom with Rachael, and hopefully she can spend the night at the apartment so that her parents don't have to stay up late worried and stuff. Then I just gotta ask them if Rach might be able to assist me (paid, of course) at a wedding I'm doing on June 8th in Connecticut. They want exactly ten shots, the formals basically, so we won't be gone too long. But having help would be nice. And I'd definitely pay her for it. But I have time to ask on that one. ^^
So yes, my week is full of relaxation and wonderfulness. I am so glad to have the down time. Gonna retouch the extra photos I have, do some archiving, deliver prints, and be a bum. <3
Friday, May 23, 2008
Giving out Prints
So now that the final portfolio is in, and we've all seen how BORING the review process is, I've gotta finish retouching images and printing them out for people. With the portfolio deadline fast approaching, I had to let some images go that were for fun more than portfolio in order to finish on time. So now it's back to retouching. Ugh... I'm still seeing retouching in my dreams, and whenever I close my eyes. So not cool. But, I'll get it done.
I also need to clean my apartment. There's mold in my sink and junk just tossed everywhere. I also haven't gotten food in over a month, nor really cleaned anything for that matter. So... I'm buying me some latex medical gloves and getting to work. Gotta pay my bills too. That portfolio really had me preoccupied. @_@;;
But as I stated, the review process is really boring. Like... even the good students who do everything asked of them were playing games on their cell phones. You didn't have to be tired to fall asleep. It's that bad. Basically, the portfolio is put up on stage, and for about the first 10-13 minutes the judges review it silently as a website is displayed to us. And then the name of the person whose portfolio it is gets announced, and they go up on stage with people, should someone be attending with them. They're then told if it was accepted or if it has to go to rereview, and after that for the next 5-7 minutes the judges give a more in-depth critique. But the majority of it is silent, and obnoxiously long. And so, it's incredibly boring and I am not looking forward to the last day when we all must attend again. For the first time in a long time I was actually glad my stomach wasn't holding lunch right. Being sick meant I had a reason to stay home. I dealt with my IBS in school Wednesday, wasn't doing it for the review too. Nope, not when it could interrupt things. So my afternoon was spent sleeping that off.
Ugh... still, I'm so glad that it's over. That stress is gone. Now I just have to deal with the aftermath, aka the retouching/printing and cleaning. Yuck. xP But it's got to get done. Especially so I can take a bunch of stuff back to New York with me on Sunday.
I seriously think I'm going to go spend the night at Rachael's tomorrow and keep her company, and play some karaoke. Just to further remove myself from the stress of life. Yeah... I like that idea. And it'd be nice to look forward to for when I'm done cleaning. ^^
I also need to clean my apartment. There's mold in my sink and junk just tossed everywhere. I also haven't gotten food in over a month, nor really cleaned anything for that matter. So... I'm buying me some latex medical gloves and getting to work. Gotta pay my bills too. That portfolio really had me preoccupied. @_@;;
But as I stated, the review process is really boring. Like... even the good students who do everything asked of them were playing games on their cell phones. You didn't have to be tired to fall asleep. It's that bad. Basically, the portfolio is put up on stage, and for about the first 10-13 minutes the judges review it silently as a website is displayed to us. And then the name of the person whose portfolio it is gets announced, and they go up on stage with people, should someone be attending with them. They're then told if it was accepted or if it has to go to rereview, and after that for the next 5-7 minutes the judges give a more in-depth critique. But the majority of it is silent, and obnoxiously long. And so, it's incredibly boring and I am not looking forward to the last day when we all must attend again. For the first time in a long time I was actually glad my stomach wasn't holding lunch right. Being sick meant I had a reason to stay home. I dealt with my IBS in school Wednesday, wasn't doing it for the review too. Nope, not when it could interrupt things. So my afternoon was spent sleeping that off.
Ugh... still, I'm so glad that it's over. That stress is gone. Now I just have to deal with the aftermath, aka the retouching/printing and cleaning. Yuck. xP But it's got to get done. Especially so I can take a bunch of stuff back to New York with me on Sunday.
I seriously think I'm going to go spend the night at Rachael's tomorrow and keep her company, and play some karaoke. Just to further remove myself from the stress of life. Yeah... I like that idea. And it'd be nice to look forward to for when I'm done cleaning. ^^
Thursday, May 22, 2008
WAVE THE CHECKERED FLAG! 8D
SOMEONE WAVE THE CHECKERED FLAG, IT'S OVER! THE FINAL PORTFOLIOS HAVE ALL BEEN HANDED IN! WE'RE ON TO THE REVIEWS! HOORAY!
Man... it feels so good to be done too. I had everything printed, organized, and in my box with the paperwork at exactly 2:17pm yesterday. Which gave me about a three hour waiting period until we were able to get in line and hand them in. I am really excited about my portfolio now, as well as nervous. John Nordell and I organized it though, which I'm happy about. I was going to seek him out to help me with it, but he ended up coming upstairs to the lounge before I could do that. How lucky, yeah? ^^
Anyways, so he and I organized it to start and end strong. I specifically wanted him to help, too, because he was the one who looked over my stuff when I went for my interview, and I knew then and there that we had a similar eye when it came to looking at images and laying them out. Just by the things he noticed, and the comments he made. And classes with him only further cemented that fact in my brain. So he and I got a strong layout going, and I'm wicked happy.
Now all I have to stress about is the review, and hope I'm not going to end up in re-review. D: The only thing that might get me are my personal submissions... one is a little bright. And the in-home family and pet+owner for harsher lighting. Oh, and the architecture just because I suck at that. xP Cross your fingers and hope the rest of my portfolio pulls up the grade enough! I really want to pass! All I need to do is get a cumulative grade of 75% to do that. So I'm really hoping that my other portraits really pull that grade up. Really really hoping.
Having that portfolio done though... it's a big relief. And I'm sure everyone feels that way. I came home and made love to my bed afterwards. Best sleep I've had in a month. I was passed out from 7pm to 4:30am.
Oh! Almost forgot though! To hand in the portfolios we all had to wait in line. Well, that line started forming around 2:30pm, and I finally got into it around 3:15pm after having some free pizza that was upstairs. I'm glad I got into it when I did, because when I was leaving it was wrapped all the way down the hallways. It was HUGE. Good god... And I was kind enough to let Debbie into the line ahead of me since she had her daughter's graduation to go to at 6:30pm, and she needed to leave at 6pm from home at the latest to make it, since it was in Springfield, MA. No one else would let her do that. But oh well, we were out of there by 5:15pm, so I really hope she made it on time. I really, really hope she did.
Afterwards I went to Rachael's house (FKA Beth, she has now given permission to be named), where we were going to play karaoke... but ended up just chatting for a little over an hour because we were both exhausted. And that's when I came home and slept up until now.
So I'm off to get ready for the first day of portfolio review, which all sections are required to attend, and to burn a second DVD of my images so that I can build you all a wonderful gallery to look at my final portfolio. It will be in order as John and I placed it. Just have to get the damn simpleviewer script to work. I've done it before, just not via Dreamweaver. So... methinks I'm going to edit the script with notepad again. x'D Dreamweaver screwed me over with it last time. *shakefist*
But yes, I'm off! No boring HTML and XML bitching for you!
Man... it feels so good to be done too. I had everything printed, organized, and in my box with the paperwork at exactly 2:17pm yesterday. Which gave me about a three hour waiting period until we were able to get in line and hand them in. I am really excited about my portfolio now, as well as nervous. John Nordell and I organized it though, which I'm happy about. I was going to seek him out to help me with it, but he ended up coming upstairs to the lounge before I could do that. How lucky, yeah? ^^
Anyways, so he and I organized it to start and end strong. I specifically wanted him to help, too, because he was the one who looked over my stuff when I went for my interview, and I knew then and there that we had a similar eye when it came to looking at images and laying them out. Just by the things he noticed, and the comments he made. And classes with him only further cemented that fact in my brain. So he and I got a strong layout going, and I'm wicked happy.
Now all I have to stress about is the review, and hope I'm not going to end up in re-review. D: The only thing that might get me are my personal submissions... one is a little bright. And the in-home family and pet+owner for harsher lighting. Oh, and the architecture just because I suck at that. xP Cross your fingers and hope the rest of my portfolio pulls up the grade enough! I really want to pass! All I need to do is get a cumulative grade of 75% to do that. So I'm really hoping that my other portraits really pull that grade up. Really really hoping.
Having that portfolio done though... it's a big relief. And I'm sure everyone feels that way. I came home and made love to my bed afterwards. Best sleep I've had in a month. I was passed out from 7pm to 4:30am.
Oh! Almost forgot though! To hand in the portfolios we all had to wait in line. Well, that line started forming around 2:30pm, and I finally got into it around 3:15pm after having some free pizza that was upstairs. I'm glad I got into it when I did, because when I was leaving it was wrapped all the way down the hallways. It was HUGE. Good god... And I was kind enough to let Debbie into the line ahead of me since she had her daughter's graduation to go to at 6:30pm, and she needed to leave at 6pm from home at the latest to make it, since it was in Springfield, MA. No one else would let her do that. But oh well, we were out of there by 5:15pm, so I really hope she made it on time. I really, really hope she did.
Afterwards I went to Rachael's house (FKA Beth, she has now given permission to be named), where we were going to play karaoke... but ended up just chatting for a little over an hour because we were both exhausted. And that's when I came home and slept up until now.
So I'm off to get ready for the first day of portfolio review, which all sections are required to attend, and to burn a second DVD of my images so that I can build you all a wonderful gallery to look at my final portfolio. It will be in order as John and I placed it. Just have to get the damn simpleviewer script to work. I've done it before, just not via Dreamweaver. So... methinks I'm going to edit the script with notepad again. x'D Dreamweaver screwed me over with it last time. *shakefist*
But yes, I'm off! No boring HTML and XML bitching for you!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The Home Stretch
TODAY IS THE DAY! PORTFOLIOS ARE DUE AT 5PM! O_O;
HOLY SHIT.
*dies*
Not really. Well, I didn't die at least. Yet. But the portfolios are all due by 5pm today, and it's kind of a mad rush here at Hallmark. An erilly calm mad rush. But I know we can all do it... well... I hope we can at least. x'D Most of us didn't get more than 3 hours of sleep last night. Personally, I'm running on barely two, and I came into school with a stomach that was rioting. Ugh. However, my DVD is burned, and my PDF is dropped onto the server. Two more things done. What does suck though, is I grabbed a wrong file from home. >.< Damn tifs. Damn laptop being a bitch. Well no, not the laptop--Lightroom and Photoshop being bitchy. That's what kept me up until 5am. But anyways... I have to run back home quick and nab the correct files for printing. Only one or two though, so that's not bad at all.
After I grab those, I'm off to see an instructor to get them in a strong order, and then I can hand this puppy in. In between everything I've been doing the paperwork and stuff, so I didn't waste any time. Seeing how I'm typing this blog up as stuff prints, you know my paper work is done. *thumbs up* That's always a relief.
But yeah, it's looking like just that one damned image has to be reprinted. Man... that kinda feels good. Kinda, but not quite, because it still means I have to run home, get the file, return, and then I can print it. After I get another computer. v_v; But I know I can do it. I can do anything I put my mind to.
SIX AND A HALF HOURS TO GO!
HOLY SHIT.
*dies*
Not really. Well, I didn't die at least. Yet. But the portfolios are all due by 5pm today, and it's kind of a mad rush here at Hallmark. An erilly calm mad rush. But I know we can all do it... well... I hope we can at least. x'D Most of us didn't get more than 3 hours of sleep last night. Personally, I'm running on barely two, and I came into school with a stomach that was rioting. Ugh. However, my DVD is burned, and my PDF is dropped onto the server. Two more things done. What does suck though, is I grabbed a wrong file from home. >.< Damn tifs. Damn laptop being a bitch. Well no, not the laptop--Lightroom and Photoshop being bitchy. That's what kept me up until 5am. But anyways... I have to run back home quick and nab the correct files for printing. Only one or two though, so that's not bad at all.
After I grab those, I'm off to see an instructor to get them in a strong order, and then I can hand this puppy in. In between everything I've been doing the paperwork and stuff, so I didn't waste any time. Seeing how I'm typing this blog up as stuff prints, you know my paper work is done. *thumbs up* That's always a relief.
But yeah, it's looking like just that one damned image has to be reprinted. Man... that kinda feels good. Kinda, but not quite, because it still means I have to run home, get the file, return, and then I can print it. After I get another computer. v_v; But I know I can do it. I can do anything I put my mind to.
SIX AND A HALF HOURS TO GO!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Probably Shouldn't have Slept
Ugh... I was supposed to go see Tony today with Celia and Christie, but I just never woke up. Of course, it doesn't help that they wanted to go see him around 7:30am... and I'm just not a morning person. Especially when I don't have much reason to be there that early... And I was up until about 2:30am, 3am retouching. Didn't really get to bed until around 4am. So I'm still tired as it is. But I have more stuff I need to finish retouching so I can be ready to print tomorrow. Man... time just flies. I do have everything shot though, so no worries there. I got the last two done yesterday, so that was pretty cool. So retouching... here I come! @_@;;
Monday, May 19, 2008
Long Journey Back
So I left around... oh... 5am today and got back by 7:30am. Helped that I was doing 80mph most of the way, even if I did have to get into the slow lane to let some cops pass me. Yeah... they didn't like 80 apparently. Never pulled me over, but they were cruising for sure. One in NY, and one in MA, and both of them were tailgating me until I let them fly by. Yikes.
Before I even got on the highway though, I was attacked by geese. No lie, there were two of them on 147, and as I drove by they lunged at my car to attack it. WHAT THE HELL!? Aren't animals supposed to be afraid of that sort of stuff? I thought they were! Good god! Send those things to Iraq, they'll get the job done. o.<
But the journey was long, because I got sick during it. Thankfully it was within ten miles of home that the worst of it hit, but still. I don't like being sick, and I really don't like my IBS, which is what flared up again. So I ended up returning the lens to Joey and then returning home to die. And before anything is said about just dealing, IBS is like having a belly full of battery acid that's about to be set on fire to explode. It hurts so bad you can't breathe right, and you can't stand all the way up because everything is spasming that bad. There is no medicine for it either, and nothing to stop it once it starts. So the only option I had was to get sick when my stomach demanded a bathroom run, and to sleep it off.
So far, so good. I'm holding down a sandwich I ate for lunch around 2pm, and hoping to go to the CS around 5:30pm. Gotta do one of the two shoots I have left tonight. And then tomorrow I have studio time to do the last one. I doubt I can pull them both off tonight. If I could though... that'd be great. I think I'm going to do my metal shot tonight though, and the environmental still life tomorrow. And I'm really hoping they don't take too long. Bleh.
Though... with my simplistic nature, I just might be able to do both tonight. I know exactly what I want to do after all... So anything is possible. If I can get both done tonight, that would be wonderful. That would leave all tomorrow for just retouching, and Wednesday for printing. I'd like that.
Anywho, I'm off to do some more retouching since I have so much on my laptop that needs it. Gotta get it done.
TWO DAYS.
Before I even got on the highway though, I was attacked by geese. No lie, there were two of them on 147, and as I drove by they lunged at my car to attack it. WHAT THE HELL!? Aren't animals supposed to be afraid of that sort of stuff? I thought they were! Good god! Send those things to Iraq, they'll get the job done. o.<
But the journey was long, because I got sick during it. Thankfully it was within ten miles of home that the worst of it hit, but still. I don't like being sick, and I really don't like my IBS, which is what flared up again. So I ended up returning the lens to Joey and then returning home to die. And before anything is said about just dealing, IBS is like having a belly full of battery acid that's about to be set on fire to explode. It hurts so bad you can't breathe right, and you can't stand all the way up because everything is spasming that bad. There is no medicine for it either, and nothing to stop it once it starts. So the only option I had was to get sick when my stomach demanded a bathroom run, and to sleep it off.
So far, so good. I'm holding down a sandwich I ate for lunch around 2pm, and hoping to go to the CS around 5:30pm. Gotta do one of the two shoots I have left tonight. And then tomorrow I have studio time to do the last one. I doubt I can pull them both off tonight. If I could though... that'd be great. I think I'm going to do my metal shot tonight though, and the environmental still life tomorrow. And I'm really hoping they don't take too long. Bleh.
Though... with my simplistic nature, I just might be able to do both tonight. I know exactly what I want to do after all... So anything is possible. If I can get both done tonight, that would be wonderful. That would leave all tomorrow for just retouching, and Wednesday for printing. I'd like that.
Anywho, I'm off to do some more retouching since I have so much on my laptop that needs it. Gotta get it done.
TWO DAYS.
Back to Mass
Well, thanks to my stomach flaring up last night, I'm heading back to MA at 4:30am. Whoo... xP Ugh... I really hate driving back. And I hate 4:30am. And I hate driving alone, especially for long periods of time. So I really hate this drive. Damn stomach acting up on me last night. *shakes fist* If it weren't for that, I'd already be back in MA. If it weren't for the fact that I have to return a lens to Joey, I'd probably have just stayed home today, done a bunch of retouching, and returned this afternoon. Or something. As it is I might just have to return the lens, go home, and crash. Depends on if the drive kicks my ass or not. And I have critique this morning too. Dammit. Oh well, gotta do what I gotta do. I'm already going to be retouching like mad. I hate retouching sometimes. Blarg.
Somebody needs to hurry up and invent a way to teleport. So I can go back to sleep for a few more hours. v_v;
Somebody needs to hurry up and invent a way to teleport. So I can go back to sleep for a few more hours. v_v;
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I Do What I Can
So today I went to Catra, and it was cold. Really, really cold. Mostly because it opened up and poured around 1:00pm, and had just been overcast and breezy all morning. Yeah, morning. We were there by 9am, I was out the door at 7:45am. Had to go wait at the Ambulance Core Building while they staged the rig and stuff. Why'd I do it that way and not go right over? Well A) I might have been able to help at the building, and B) if I go over with them, I can park for free for being with the crew.
So we went over around 8:30am, and all was well. Got the tent set up, pulled out the chairs and medical equipment, and sat down to watch the start of the race. Well, they did. I pulled out the Mamiya and found a place by the track. About... oh.... ten feet from where the racers would be? x'D
Lemme tell ya, last year I got panning by sheer accident. This year I couldn't get anything. The camera lagged, and the digital back lagged, and I couldn't sync it well enough. So no panning for me. I did get a really nice group shot though thanks to the 35mm lens I borrowed.
Good thing I didn't absolutely have to have the action shots. ^^;
I was more useful at the Med Tent anyways. And it gave me a good excuse to get away from this Masshole (oh he was one before you get angry) who was going on about how funny the accidents were, and how that's what he came to watch, and he lived to get hurt, blah blah blah. He was laughing about how one kid (yeah, little kids ran Saturday) got run over yesterday! NOT FUNNY. His Mom agreed with me that it wasn't cool to laugh at, and he shut up when I told him I was with EMS (Emergency Medical Services). I mean, yeah, accidents can be interesting, but people getting hurt isn't funny unless they're laughing too.
So I ditched him by saying I needed to check in at the Med Tent. Didn't truly have to, but his nonsense was just... he wanted to be a know-it-all tough guy, and I was having none of it. He wanted to show me a good spot for pictures, and unfortunately they weren't running that part of the track this year (it's an 8 mile trail over boulders, stumps, logs, and through swamps basically), so until we noticed that I had to listen to him try to preach NY State law to me. Which is crap, because I think I know the laws of my state. Such an ass.
We did have one kid get pretty seriously injured today as well. Compound fracture to the femur, and he had to be carted out of the woods. 3 miles back in he was. Thank god for four-wheelers, though Kelly and Diana and Dave (the EMTs who went back since there were two injuries, but one wasn't as serious) all said they wouldn't ride them again with the sweepers (guys who ride the track to make sure things are all clear and to find the injured and those in need of help). But it got the guy out, and then the ambulance took him out to the road where a chopper was called in to assist and take him to the hospital. If I could have made it out in time, that would have been an awesome Photo J shot, but there wasn't time to do that. And I was busy at the Med Tent helping with patient care reports and getting supplies for the EMTs.
Next year Dad says he will have the trailer fixed and we're bringing our four-wheeler up to use to carry EMTs. And that will probably be my job, to ferry EMTs and patients in and out of the woods. Over stumps, and logs, and boulders, and through swamps. xD I'm not even kidding, these trails are insane.
So all in all I didn't get any good action shots from the day, but I did make myself feel morally good by helping out other people. I can't do much since I don't have the training (yet), but I do what I can. And taking care of the menial tasks frees up the EMTs to do what they know best. I do plan on taking the EMT course or getting the Red Cross first aid training soon though.
However... my legs are screaming. Hiking in the woods with a camera is bad. Running around on uneven terrain to help medics is bad. But it does my heart good.
Later today I managed to snag both my in-home family and my pet+owner. So I just need to finish my design pieces and shoot in the CS and I'm all done shooting. I'll just have to retouch and print, which doesn't take too awful long; provided the computer cooperates.
THREE DAYS TO GO! O_O;;
So we went over around 8:30am, and all was well. Got the tent set up, pulled out the chairs and medical equipment, and sat down to watch the start of the race. Well, they did. I pulled out the Mamiya and found a place by the track. About... oh.... ten feet from where the racers would be? x'D
Lemme tell ya, last year I got panning by sheer accident. This year I couldn't get anything. The camera lagged, and the digital back lagged, and I couldn't sync it well enough. So no panning for me. I did get a really nice group shot though thanks to the 35mm lens I borrowed.
Good thing I didn't absolutely have to have the action shots. ^^;
I was more useful at the Med Tent anyways. And it gave me a good excuse to get away from this Masshole (oh he was one before you get angry) who was going on about how funny the accidents were, and how that's what he came to watch, and he lived to get hurt, blah blah blah. He was laughing about how one kid (yeah, little kids ran Saturday) got run over yesterday! NOT FUNNY. His Mom agreed with me that it wasn't cool to laugh at, and he shut up when I told him I was with EMS (Emergency Medical Services). I mean, yeah, accidents can be interesting, but people getting hurt isn't funny unless they're laughing too.
So I ditched him by saying I needed to check in at the Med Tent. Didn't truly have to, but his nonsense was just... he wanted to be a know-it-all tough guy, and I was having none of it. He wanted to show me a good spot for pictures, and unfortunately they weren't running that part of the track this year (it's an 8 mile trail over boulders, stumps, logs, and through swamps basically), so until we noticed that I had to listen to him try to preach NY State law to me. Which is crap, because I think I know the laws of my state. Such an ass.
We did have one kid get pretty seriously injured today as well. Compound fracture to the femur, and he had to be carted out of the woods. 3 miles back in he was. Thank god for four-wheelers, though Kelly and Diana and Dave (the EMTs who went back since there were two injuries, but one wasn't as serious) all said they wouldn't ride them again with the sweepers (guys who ride the track to make sure things are all clear and to find the injured and those in need of help). But it got the guy out, and then the ambulance took him out to the road where a chopper was called in to assist and take him to the hospital. If I could have made it out in time, that would have been an awesome Photo J shot, but there wasn't time to do that. And I was busy at the Med Tent helping with patient care reports and getting supplies for the EMTs.
Next year Dad says he will have the trailer fixed and we're bringing our four-wheeler up to use to carry EMTs. And that will probably be my job, to ferry EMTs and patients in and out of the woods. Over stumps, and logs, and boulders, and through swamps. xD I'm not even kidding, these trails are insane.
So all in all I didn't get any good action shots from the day, but I did make myself feel morally good by helping out other people. I can't do much since I don't have the training (yet), but I do what I can. And taking care of the menial tasks frees up the EMTs to do what they know best. I do plan on taking the EMT course or getting the Red Cross first aid training soon though.
However... my legs are screaming. Hiking in the woods with a camera is bad. Running around on uneven terrain to help medics is bad. But it does my heart good.
Later today I managed to snag both my in-home family and my pet+owner. So I just need to finish my design pieces and shoot in the CS and I'm all done shooting. I'll just have to retouch and print, which doesn't take too awful long; provided the computer cooperates.
THREE DAYS TO GO! O_O;;
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)