Right now I think I'm going to cry because my nerves are acting up due to the friggin NYC trip tomorrow, and I'm sick. And it blows big time, because I really want to go, but if my stomach doesn't quit it I am going to chicken out simply to feel better. Anyone who's ever had a really knarly case of food poisoning... that's the pain I'm in, only a bit worse. All because of this stupid photo-expo trip. Seriously, it's not worth it when I end up like this. Not to me. Not when I'm upset at myself for it. The worst part is, I know I'll regret it if I don't go. I know I will. But god damn my nerves and stomach are killing me. I really don't know what to do. Vomit maybe. Maybe not. Just... I don't know. I really wish I weren't in my shoes right now though, let me tell you.
...Maybe just surviving Massachusetts can be enough for me. NYC isn't going anywhere after all. Then I can do it on my own time, know that I will always have a group of people with me... and I'm not restrained to the bus schedule. Yeah... maybe I'll go another time... because my stomach and nerves do not love me.
Hell... I don't even know if I'll go to Salem on Saturday at this rate. My stomach is that screwed up.
I want to gut myself...
This blows.
Damn stomach.
Damn nerves.
Damn myself.
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