Hallmark is still pretty awesome. We're moving on to Phase II, which means that we've switched up our groups, but more on that in a minute. It's actually not as happy as I'd like...
Anywho...
So we finally made it into the portrait studio! WHOOT! I have seriously fallen in love. Working in the portrait studio with all the lights... it's just like heaven. It's funny too, because I used to be so unsure about people. Now it just tends to come naturally as I observe. This might be my new home. x3
Halloween was GREAT. I was a geisha, and I literally stopped both fellow students and instructors dead in their tracks with my appearance. ^_^ I think I did pretty damn good. And the little kids... adorable. Seriously, handing out candy was tons of fun, even though it was cold. However, due to this I was more interested in taking a hot bath to warm up than doing photos, so until I put the costume back on I have nada for you.
Shot some of my Phase I final this weekend. Couldn't do it all though because I couldn't get a hold of a flash. Oh well.
I also shot at the Coffee House and did band photos for HellFire. Band photos are such a rush! I really enjoy shooting at concert situations.
Then I did some for the Galway Youth Theatre. This was great for three reasons:
1) They're getting published in a newsletter with my name.
2) My name goes in the program.
3) I am being allowed to set up a stand next to the ticket one to sell my work at the show. o_o
Seriously, it put me on cloud nine for a bit. <3
But then my mood hit the gutter. I haven't been taking my pills, which is bad, but I can't help it. I just haven't been keeping a good enough diet I guess. *shrug*
Anyways, we're switching groups so I'm no longer with any of the "friends" I made thus far. I use that term lightly though, because I still feel like an outsider. Sure, people are nice, and I get along great with them... but they always make plans with each other. And never with me. I always have to ask to be included... and that hurts. Part of it could be because I go home on the weekends... but really why stay? Stay and be lonely in my apartment because no one wanted to hang with me.
It just hurts. And now we have new groups, and even though Heidi, Alexis, and Adam are with me in it, I still feel alone. Because Heidi and Alexis are very close with each other... and Adam is cool but he and I really just chat during projects we're working on together.
I'm starting to feel like a loner by nature. I thought I could start fresh at Hallmark and make tons of friends but it's just not happening. And that's really upsetting.
I just want one really close friend... and I can't seem to find anyone.
It makes me feel alone.
Very alone.
Oh yeah... and my car broke earlier this week but it's fixed now.
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2 comments:
Aww, sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. But hey, at least you still have us! *hugs* Just keep your chin up, things will improve before you know it. ^.^
Very cool news about the marketing opportunity at our old high school though! ^.^
The lonely feeling is *totally* normal. It can take quite a while for the "real" HIP friendships to gel.
I felt the same way you did, because I lived here already, and so went home after school, instead of to a Turner's apartment with HIP roommates. I don't think I went to a single Hallmark party until after graduation - But I did make some great friends, who I'm still in touch with. It'll come.
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